Stuck in the Imago Minimizer/Maximizer Communication Pattern Trap?
In marriages, the minimizer/maximizer dynamic describes how partners respond to stress and conflict: minimizers tend to withdraw, while maximizers seek engagement and expression. This difference in communication styles in conflict can lead to misunderstandings and tension if not properly managed. The Minimizer/Maximizer Relationship Dynamic is Common in High Conflict Marriages If you’re in a relationship […]
Improving Marriage Intimacy by Embracing the Differing Needs of Men & Women in Relationships
The road toward true relationship intimacy can be a long and winding one full of curves, highs, and lows. The unconditional acceptance, reciprocal love and affection in a truly intimate marriage relationship is the ultimate prize worth fighting for. When the initial romance wanes, and it does in all relationships, it’s time to get to […]
Deepening the Connection: The Imago Way to a Conscious Marriage (part 2)
In Part 1 of “Choosing Each Other Again: The Imago Way to a Conscious Marriage“ we explored the crucial role of choosing your partner every day to maintain a strong and healthy relationship. We introduced how Imago Relationship Therapy helps couples understand the reasons behind their initial attraction and provides them with practical strategies to […]
Choosing Each Other Again: The Imago Way to a Conscious Marriage
Is Imago Therapy Right for You? If you’ve ever thought: “Did I marry the right person?” “We keep having the same fight over and over.” “Counseling didn’t work for us in the past.” …you’re not alone. These doubts are not only normal but, in Imago Therapy, they’re actually a signpost: an invitation to rediscover why […]
Do we still believe in marriage?
In 2017 I published an article called “How My Therapist Destroyed My Marriage“. It was pretty controversial. I got a lot of “hate mail” from other therapists. Others Have Experienced Nightmarish Marriage Counseling Fails as Well I must admit that I felt a little intimidated until my phone started ringing (and still does) with those […]
How to Apologize to Your Spouse Effectively: Healing Through Imago Therapy Techniques
Navigating the Path to Sincere Apologies In every marriage, the journey is filled with moments of joy and challenges, where the words we choose and the way we communicate can either build bridges or walls between us. Apologizing to your spouse, a simple yet profound act, often becomes a stumbling block for many couples. It’s […]
When Communication Isn’t Enough: Signs You Need Marriage Therapy or a Retreat
Alex and Jordan’s story is all too familiar. Once full of laughter and late-night talks, their marriage now revolves around schedules, chores, and quiet resentment. At first, the change felt subtle — but one day they realized: we’re not really talking anymore. If this sounds familiar, you may be asking: Do we just need better […]
Enhancing Your Relationship Through Self-Care, Together: A Mutual Journey to Well-being
It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that taking care of ourselves somehow takes away from our relationships. We’re often led to believe that the more we give and sacrifice, the better partners we are. But here’s the truth: neglecting our own well-being doesn’t make us better lovers or friends; it just leaves […]
How to Build Emotional Intimacy with Your Spouse: 3 Proven Ways to Feel Closer Than Ever
Exploring the Essence of Emotional Intimacy in Relationships Have you ever felt a subtle but persistent longing in your marriage—a sense that something important is missing, even though the love is still there? Often, that gap isn’t caused by a lack of affection, but by the absence of something deeper: emotional intimacy1. Emotional intimacy is […]
Still Love Your Spouse but Not “In Love”? 5 Proven Steps to Rekindle the Spark
Why So Many Couples Feel This Way If you’ve ever thought: “I love my spouse, but I’m not in love anymore,” you’re not alone. Thousands of couples Google this exact phrase every month. Relationships naturally go through stages. The honeymoon phase eventually gives way to the “power struggle” — where routines, responsibilities, and old arguments […]
When Your Spouse Avoids Relationship Talks: 5 Strategies to Encourage Open Dialogue
One of the most common frustrations couples share is: “My spouse shuts down when I try to talk about our relationship.” Silence can feel like rejection, but it usually doesn’t mean a lack of love. More often, withdrawal is a protective mechanism—a way to avoid vulnerability or conflict. Still, when one partner avoids relationship talks, […]
15 Signs of a Healthy Marriage: Green Flags from a Relationship Therapist
Key Takeaways Healthy marriages center on perceived partner responsiveness—feeling understood, validated, and cared for predicts relationship quality. A high positive-to-negative interaction ratio (about 5:1) and effective repair attempts during conflict are hallmarks of thriving couples. Active-constructive responding to a partner’s good news (“capitalization”) strengthens satisfaction and intimacy. Regular gratitude expressions reliably boost relationship satisfaction and […]
What Really Works When Marriage Gets Hard? 3 Strategies Couples Need to Know Before Choosing Counseling
Marriage isn’t always smooth sailing. Some days you’re deeply connected, and other days you’re stuck in tension, wondering if things will ever get better. If you’ve been asking “What really works when marriage gets hard so we don’t turn into roommates instead of soulmates?”—you’re not alone. Studies show that most couples experience multiple rocky phases […]
Are You Really Incompatible—Or Just Stuck in Conflict? How to Tell the Difference
You didn’t get married expecting to feel this alone. The tension. The arguments over small things. The silence that lingers even when nothing is wrong. You start to wonder: “Are we just too different? Are we even compatible anymore?” It’s a painful question. But before you decide incompatibility is the issue, consider this: Most couples […]
Is Imago Therapy Right for You? Common Concerns, Contraindications, and Who It Helps Most
Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) has helped thousands of couples around the world reconnect and heal. But like any therapeutic approach, it isn’t a perfect fit for every couple in every situation. If you’re considering Imago therapy, you might be wondering: 👉 What are its limitations?👉 When is it not recommended?👉 Who benefits most from it? […]
4 Romantic Waterfalls to Discover with Your Spouse in Guanacaste, Costa Rica
Guanacaste is the northwest province of Costa Rica boasting an abundance of breathtaking natural wonders like lagoons, volcanic formations, thermal springs, and of course otherworldly waterfalls. Scientists discovered that the negative ions that are emitted when water molecules collide create a sense of euphoria, making waterfalls one of the most romantic destinations for couples around […]
3 Hidden Beaches to Explore with Your Spouse on Your Retreat’s Rest Days in Costa Rica
We’ve been hosting couples at marriage counseling retreats in Costa Rica for a few years now. During our time here we’ve been fortunate enough to discover some hidden beaches that you can discover with your husband or wife on your retreat’s rest days. We’re talking a pink sand beach, a hidden beach you must know […]
Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin’s Recent News Contributions and Online Features
Browse some of Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin’s recent contributions and expert advice from columnists, journalists, and reporters. Need to interview a licensed, experienced marriage counselor? Fill out the contact form at the bottom of the page to request answers, advice, or expert information about a topic related to couples therapy. We’re also happy to verify facts […]
Enhancing Emotional Connection in Your Relationship by Creating Meaningful Moments
Feel Like Your Partner Doesn’t Do Anything Special for You? Here’s How to Reconnect Emotionally — One Moment at a Time You don’t want fancy things.You just want to feel like your partner sees you. You want to feel cared for, remembered, appreciated — not just someone who shares a house or raises kids with […]
Recognizing the Four Horsemen in Your Marriage And How to Turn Things Around – According to Gottman
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a biblical metaphor that John Gottman adapted to describe four destructive communication patterns that predict divorce with high accuracy¹. Recognizing these behaviors—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—is crucial if you want to prevent them from eroding the foundation of your relationship². How to Recognize, Anticipate, and Mitigate Destructive Behavior […]