The most sacred vow a person can make in marriage is to honor their union for the rest of their lives. Presenting a united front is the simplest example of this unification. When two different people create a life together there will eventually be disagreements and differences of opinion along the way. Healthy conflict is completely normal. However, when a husband and wife don’t prioritize one another in times of conflict with a third party, they are not presenting themselves to the world as a unified team. This can lead to feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, and vulnerability in marriage. These feelings can slowly tear away the finely knit threads that are holding your marriage together.
Working through a conflict together as a couple can sometimes be a struggle. When other people enter the equation they can exacerbate complications of conflict, but only if you let them. The potential for volatility in situations like this can test your loyalty to one another and even leave you questioning your priorities.
Simple discussions and conflicts with in-laws, siblings, children, friends, and parents can trigger emotions and test your relationship loyalty. This is why it is so important to present a united front with your husband or wife. They are your priority, and you should be theirs.
Your parents, children, brothers, and sisters are not priorities in your marriage. These people can step into your marriage and create chaos if you aren’t alert, vigilant, mindful, and intentionally presenting a united front.
What is a “United Front”?
The term “united front” is not exclusive to marriage but applies to any group of people who come together and join forces to achieve a particular goal that they all share. It also means that they are on the same page when someone threatens their ability to achieving that goal. When you allow yourself to surrender to your spouse completely you become a team with unwavering solidarity that cannot be penetrated.
Parenting with consistency as a united front is crucial to maintaining a healthy marriage and raising a secure, healthy child.
As parents this can be the shared goal of raising children who are respectful and kind. When a child is disrespectful to someone it threatens that goal, and the parents need to present a united front when they handle the situation.
A parent, in-law, or sibling who is inserting themselves into your married relationship or overstepping boundaries threatens your sacred union. A friend who is trying to cause discord in the marriage also threatens the union. Both partners need to value the marriage, and their marital bond, over these other people and present a united front to protect their marriage.
In a marriage, both partners should value each other as equals and value the marriage by making it a priority.
Why is it Important to Show a United Front?
The most important reason to present a united front is that the two of you are stronger together than you are as individuals. It reduces your risk of being manipulated, taken advantage of, or the two of you being pitted against each other.
Your union prevents children and stepchildren from playing one parent against the other to get their way. Bu the same token parents and in-laws cannot wedge themselves into your marriage union and cause division.
Unity is strength and power. When you support each other’s decisions and reinforce each other’s approaches to issues, you stand united, secure, and stronger together. It makes your marriage impossible to penetrate and extremely difficult to rip apart.
How Presenting a United Front Strengthens Your Marriage
You are a Team
Marriage makes you come together to create a life as a team. This does not mean that you lose yourself or your identity, but that you welcome another person to share it. All of your actions and decisions affect your partner and vice versa.
It Takes Two
Both partners need to act as a part of the team for the marital bond to be effective. That means working together to work things out when you encounter an issue. It may not mean that you agree about everything or share the same opinions; it means that you respect each other’s opinions and will find a way to compromise so you can work together.
When you decide as a couple to not allow anything or anyone to interfere with your sacred bond you are preserving the sanctity of your marriage. Establishing strategies to stay consistently united helps you stay connected to your spouse and strengthen your relationship.
How to Stay United with Your Spouse During Conflicts
When you are confident that you and your spouse agree on issues, especially the topics you both feel are important, you both feel secure in your relationship. You learn to trust and rely on each other, to lean on each other, to have each other’s back, and know for certain that your partner is looking out for you and acting in your best interest. You know that you are your spouse’s top priority, and you know they are yours.
- Build a Close Relationship with Your Partner at an Immersive Marriage Retreat
- Improve Communication Skills & Your Marriage at a Group Marriage Workshop
- Effective Communication…Even When Your Spouse Won’t Talk to You
- Rekindle the Spark with Your Husband or Wife at a Marriage Retreat Vacation in Costa Rica
- Communication Coaching for Couples
Here’s how to present a united front when conflict arises
- Commit to unity. Have the conversation and agree to be united. This may mean hashing out some uncomfortable issues, but it is too important to avoid.
- Look for common ground on opposing views. There are times that you will need to compromise – both of you. Try not to press your position but listen to your spouse’s side. Then, work together to find a way to come together and compromise or simply acknowledge your spouse’s views as valid and respectfully disagree.
- Don’t discount your spouse’s position. Sometimes relationships require sacrifice. This means that sometimes you will need to embrace your spouse’s opinion even if it is not the same as yours.
- Communicate effectively with each other. Healthy, productive communication means talking and listening. In fact, listening might be the most important part. Don’t listen to decide how you will respond but listen to learn your spouse’s side.
- Be humble and patient. You don’t have all the answers and you don’t always know best. Being in a marriage means that sometimes you will have to give – sometimes a lot – and other times your spouse will have to give. Be humble enough to acknowledge that you don’t know it all and patient enough to work together with your spouse to work it out.
Unity in marriage takes work. While challenging at times, maintaining a united front with your spouse will give you a new sense of security and safety. Our marriage therapy retreats and couples workshops will help you work out issues causing division in your relationship and guide you to a deeper connection fortified with unity and commitment. Book a free relationship clarity consultation call or Schedule a free consultation today to learn the tools, exercises, and strategies needed to present a united front and truly surrender to your marriage.