Is my spouse a narcissist?
Think your spouse is a narcissist? Thankfully there are a lot more resources out there to support a spouse married to an abusive partner. The most important thing is always to make sure that you are physically safe and not in danger. If you are truly safe and you’re just wondering about something someone may […]
Best Gifts to Give Your Spouse According to Their Love Language
The Five Love Languages have been something I have taught my couples for years and people usually find it extremely valuable. Couples often wonder what to gift their partner based on their spouse’s unique love language. Gifts for the Five Love Languages Words of affirmation While everyone enjoys a good word, some of us need […]
What Surrendering in Marriage Really Means (and Why It Builds Trust)
When people hear the word surrender in marriage, it can feel loaded. Many immediately think: Becoming a doormat Losing independence Being taken advantage of But true surrender is not weakness. In fact, it requires self-respect, emotional intelligence, and inner strength. Healthy surrender in marriage is about letting go of unnecessary control, staying open-hearted, and building […]
Mismatched sexual desire
If you and your partner have mismatched sexual desire, with one of you desiring intimacy moreso than the other, that can feel very frustrating. Use the following tips to help you regain desire for each other and improve your intimate life. Improving your physical connection with each other 1. Use the Imago Dialogue, to communicate […]
3 Boundaries You Should Never Cross in Marriage (If You Want Lasting Love)
Boundaries in marriage are often misunderstood. Many think they create distance, but the truth is, healthy boundaries create safety, trust, and respect—the very foundation of intimacy. Think of boundaries as guardrails that protect your relationship from resentment, burnout, and emotional flooding. When couples blur or ignore them, trust erodes. When couples honor them, connection deepens. […]
How to Cope With Grief After Divorce: Stages, Timeline, and Healing Tips
Divorce or breakup grief can feel overwhelming. The end of a marriage is not just the loss of a partner—it’s the loss of shared dreams, routines, and identity. Research shows divorce can trigger grief that is similar to losing a loved one¹. It’s important to know you’re not alone. Healing takes time, but with the […]
How to Handle It When Your Partner Brings Work Stress Home
Work stress doesn’t just stay at the office—it often shows up at home too. If your spouse comes in the door tense, distracted, or irritable, it can leave you feeling ignored, frustrated, or resentful. This is common for couples, but if it’s not addressed, it can chip away at closeness over time. The good news? […]
Are you a saver or spender? Do your spouse’s money habits upset you?
Some people are savers, others are spenders. These personalities type are formed based on what we saw growing up. Some are consistent with what we saw and others do the opposite of what we saw. Either way, our early models impact our money personalities. Awareness of money types and childhood beliefs about money help couples […]
4 Tips on Staying Present With Each Other During the Holidays
No matter what holidays or traditions you celebrate, the fall and winter seasons tend to get quite hectic. And with so many other demands on your attention—the kids and their academic and extracurricular activities, end-of-year work projects, visits (or Zoom calls) from extended family members, community events—it’s easy for you and your spouse to start feeling like ships […]
How to Support Your Spouse Through Grief or Depression (Even When It Lasts Longer Than You’d Like)
When your partner is going through grief or depression, it’s natural to want them to “get better” quickly—not only for their sake, but for your own. But healing rarely follows our preferred timetable. In marriage, part of the journey is learning to make space for the other, even when life feels disrupted. What Would You […]
What to Do When Your Spouse Is Unreliable (and How to Rebuild Trust)
Feeling like your spouse is unreliable can be deeply disappointing. Life is hard enough—raising kids, working, managing responsibilities—without feeling like you can’t depend on your partner. For many couples, unreliability creates frustration, resentment, and even questions like: “Can I stay in this marriage if my spouse doesn’t change?” Here are some common reasons your partner […]
Should You Work on Your Own “Stuff” Before Trying Couples Therapy?
Should I go to individual therapy before couples therapy? What if my therapist says I’m the problem in my marriage? Can couples therapy help if childhood trauma is involved? Do I need to fix myself before marriage counseling? For many couples, even deciding to go to marriage counseling is a big leap. You may worry […]
When to Seek Marriage Counseling: 14 Signs It’s Time to Get Help
If you’re wondering when to seek marriage counseling, and if it’s too late or not, you’re not alone. Many couples ask this question—sometimes when the signs are glaring, and other times when things feel “off” but not catastrophic. What’s obvious to one partner may not be obvious to the other. Signs that marriage counseling can […]
What is the best marital therapy? How is Gottman different from Imago therapy?
With all of the choices of marriage counselors practicing different kinds of therapy modalities out there, how can you know what is the best marital therapy and most importantly, what is the best marriage help for your unique situation? Let’s talk about the differences between Gottman therapy and Imago therapy as those are two very […]
When your partner upsets with negativity
Sometimes there’s a situation in a relationship where one partner is working hard to be more positive and the other partner is consistently negative. This can start as a minor annoyance and grow to something catastrophic for a marriage. It’s a relationship dynamic that can be incredibly hard, especially for the one that is working […]
What to do if you are no longer physically attracted to your spouse?
Life happens, kids happen, weight gain happens. And sometimes our partner can look very different than they did when we first met. What can you do if you are no longer physically attracted to your partner? Let’s think back to when you first fell in love and knew you wanted to commit to the one […]
Are there any couples that are beyond help? Is it ever just too late?
Lots of couples talk with us about their situation and then ask if they’re the worst couple we’ve ever seen. The answer is usually no, of course. Underneath their question lies a deeper one—“Are we beyond hope? Is this just too messy to fix and is it just too late for us?”¹ So, what works? […]
Can a Marriage Survive Sexual Trauma? Healing Intimacy and Rebuilding Trust
Any past traumatic experience keeps a person in survival mode—a tensing of the body and mind, as the brain’s main job is to keep you safe. Anything that reminds you of that trauma can trigger reactivity, keeping you stuck in fight-or-flight. Sexual trauma is no different. In fact, trauma from many years ago—even childhood—can continue […]
How can you go to couples therapy when your spouse betrayed you?
If your trust has been broken by your spouse—through infidelity, lies, financial betrayal, or other breaches—you may be asking: “Why should I even consider couples counseling if I can’t trust them?” It’s a fair, painful question. After all, you didn’t choose to betray your marriage. So why should you be the one to sit in […]
How Is Imago Marriage Counseling Different? Comparing Options When You’ve Tried Everything Else
One of the most common questions I hear from couples is: “How is your marriage counseling program different from the other counseling we’ve already tried?” At our last group retreat in Baltimore, a couple asked on the very first day: “Our previous therapist told us we were too volatile and should get divorced. How is […]