As a Rabbi and psychotherapist, I do believe we have soulmates. In my work with couples, I see how this plays out, particularly from the vantage point of Imago Relationship Therapy.
We believe in Imago theory that a person is always attracted to the most positive and negative character traits of their primary caretakers. So in a sense, a person is always affected by their childhood for future relationships and is attracted to a specific person who will remind them of their most primary caretakers.
If you didn’t feel heard as a child, you will likely marry someone who doesn’t do that best job listening. Marriage is the unfinished business of childhood and we believe that if you picked someone over everyone else that you dated, there’s a real likelihood that he/she is indeed your soulmate.
Your soulmate is the one who can uniquely complete you and make you whole again. He/she is also likely to have things that you are missing and serve as a perfect complement. In the romantic stage this all seems dandy, but once the neurochemicals wear off, we often lose sight of this. By becoming conscious about our conflict, we see even further that our spouse is our destined soulmate, the one who has the opportunity to heal us, not just hurt us.
Are you married to your soulmate?
While you can never know for sure, those perfect feelings of the romantic stage clue you in on whether this person is the “one”. It is not an intellectual decision. But based on Imago therapy, it will be clear you are in the right relationship, especially when you see that the conflict is tailor made based on childhood.
Sometimes you need to be present to the fact that you may be with “the one”, instead of searching elsewhere.
Feeling like soulmates again
Your soulmate is the one who will help complete you, but it won’t be conflict free. In order to deepen your bond, you need to learn safe and connective ways to communicate and work through differences.
Helping to get you there
We’d like to help you and your partner feel like soulmates again. You truly CAN get there and we have multiple ways to guide you.
Right now, there’s an opportunity for a few more couples to attend the Getting the Love You Want™ weekend in Costa Rica on February 2-6, 2022.
Taking time out for your couplehood- experiencing the well planned itinerary that we have for you to get unstuck; break free from toxic patterns, reawakening love and respect, learning how to model a healthy relationship for your children- nothing’s better for your immune system than finally dealing with some of the biggest stressors you’ve been facing up until this point.
We’d love to make it possible for you to attend the retreat in a few weeks- know that if you have questions about coming—we’re only an email or phone call away. You can schedule a time to speak with us here or using the form below with any questions you might have so that we can give you some clarity about your own unique situation.