Gifts for the Five Love Languages
While everyone enjoys a good word, some of us need more affirmation than others. How often do you tell your husband you love and appreciate him? When was the last time you told your wife you liked her outfit or that she looked nice? For those who need words of affirmation, their absence can lead to feelings of resentment. While you may be thinking or feeling good thoughts about your spouse, try verbalizing them and see the power of your words.
While you may be the type that feels connected to your spouse, even when you are thousands of miles away, many spouses need to go out on a date or take a vacation to feel valued. You may be working so hard to provide for the family that you don’t even spend time with your spouse. Quality time with your spouse is a great way to show that they are a priority in your life.
If you are the type that doesn’t need anything, it may be hard for you to give gifts. I remember when I was getting engaged and heard about all of the gifts I was expected to give, a bracelet, an engagement ring… Coming from a family of all boys, it was hard for me to appreciate why anyone would want jewelry but I realized the positive message of love and care that my soon-to-be wife would feel. Even if you wouldn’t want someone to spend money on you, focus on the feeling that the receiver will have and give with a full heart.
As the wife in the story above, some of us show and feel loved through giving of ourselves. Whether it is washing the dishes, helping out with the kids, or driving carpool, when our spouse performs acts of service we may feel more loved than if we received even the kindest word or gift.
Some people crave physical affection more than others to feel loved. I have had many couples whose key complaint was that their spouse was not physical enough. While giving a hug for no particular reason may have been difficult for their spouse, this was precisely what was needed for them to feel cared for. If touch is the way to show your spouse your love, make an extra effort to initiate contact. A simple hug, kiss, or even touch on the arm can go a long way.
This love language is where your husband or wife need to hear your encouraging and uplifting words to boost their confidence. Letting him know how much you appreciate him, find her attractive are going to truly fill up their “bucket”. Find creative ways to share 2 or 3 of these meaningful words per day, in-person, by way of a short video, or through a love note hidden in his lunchbox, or stuck to her mirror. A sharing relationship journal would make a great gift.
This spouse is going to need weekly date nights preferably. Or time during the day if you can swing a quick walk, picnic, a bath together, an unplanned car ride adventure. Make a run to Starbucks together, take your lunch break together, bike riding, a class, run errands- just make the trip about each other. Plan, dream for your future together; spending quality time together doesn’t have to cost a lot of money, it’s about focused, uninterrupted attention of your spouse that matters. Traveling on a vacation together or attending one of our tropical destination couples retreats will also be super meaningful to a partner whose love language is quality time. Be sure to check out our upcoming calendar of getaways.
Another love language that doesn’t have to cost a lot of money (but can if you want it to!) is a pre-planned surprise/gift for your partner whose love language is gifts. Any gift will fill this love language.
For a spouse whose love language is acts of service, you’ll want to really think long and hard about all of the “burdens” and responsibilities that your spouse is taking on and find ways you can make their job easier. Car detailing, handyman time, painting a room in the house are gifts they’re sure to love!
Of course, a spouse who loves and needs physical touch, is going to want as much intimacy as possible. Helping to fulfill his/her need for physical touch can also include non-sexual touches which may ease the pressure off you if you are not as sexual of a person. A massage or facial is sure to be well received.
If you’d like to know more about how to fix negativity in your marriage using the five love languages or any of our important marriage counseling information, schedule a time to speak with us using our calendar link or fill in the form below.