Boundaries are important in a relationship because they create a sense of safety, respect, and trust, all necessary ingredients for a healthy relationship. Boundaries acknowledge and validate the otherness of your partner instead of viewing them as an extension of you.

Some examples of boundaries not to cross


1) Don’t dump on your spouse

If you are upset, you don’t have the right to just unload on your spouse. Make sure he/she is available to talk. Otherwise, you are not being respectful of his/her time/space.

2) Give your spouse some freedom

You may want to spend every moment with your partner but they also need to have their own life. Let them go to the gym, spend time with their friends, or do a hobby. As long as they are not doing these activities to avoid you, it is healthy for them to be pursuing their own interests.

3) Don’t react

Give your spouse emotional space to feel their feelings without chiming in or even having to feel upset as well. It is important to differentiate and realize you are two different people. You need to remain connected but you don’t need to be enmeshed.

Even though you’re connected and close to your spouse, it’s important to remember they are an “other” too! These tips for healthy boundaries will ensure that respect is given and received in your relationship.

If you’d like some further help with boundaries and healthy relationship strategies, feel free to schedule a time to speak with us so we can help you create the relationship you’ve always wanted. Schedule a time to speak with us using our calendar link or fill out the form below.

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Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online. Contact or