Mismatched sexual desire
If you and your partner have mismatched sexual desire, with one of you desiring intimacy moreso than the other, that can feel very frustrating. Use the following tips to help you regain desire for each other and improve your intimate life. Improving your physical connection with each other 1. Use the Imago Dialogue, to communicate […]
3 boundaries never to cross in a marriage
3 Boundaries You Should Never Cross in Marriage (If You Want a Lasting, Loving Relationship) One of the most misunderstood concepts in marriage is boundaries—yet they’re the secret ingredient to a relationship that not only survives but thrives. Many people think boundaries create distance. The truth? Boundaries create safety, trust, and respect—the very foundations of […]
How to cope with grief after a divorce or breakup
It is normal to experience grief after a divorce or breakup. It is hard ending a long-term relationship. Some of the feelings that arise are sadness, anger or resentment, and guilt. These are all feelings that can come up in the grieving process. While you may be sad that the relationship has ended, you may […]
When Your Partner Brings Work Stress Home
Even if your spouse is working from home these days, you might be feeling frustrated by how much they “take” their work home with them or the amount of stress and focus they give to their job. Work stress is common and it does impact relationships. It’s important for a couple to work on creating […]
Are you a saver or spender? Do your spouse’s money habits upset you?
Some people are savers, others are spenders. These personalities type are formed based on what we saw growing up. Some are consistent with what we saw and others do the opposite of what we saw. Either way, our early models impact our money personalities. Awareness of money types and childhood beliefs about money help couples […]
4 Tips on Staying Present With Each Other During the Holidays
No matter what holidays or traditions you celebrate, the fall and winter seasons tend to get quite hectic. And with so many other demands on your attention—the kids and their academic and extracurricular activities, end-of-year work projects, visits (or Zoom calls) from extended family members, community events—it’s easy for you and your spouse to start feeling like ships […]
When your partner is going through grief or depression (that lasts longer than you would like)
What do you do when one spouse takes longer to grieve or to get through a depression? It is a challenging place when your spouse is going through a hard time. You want them to feel better and you also don’t like the impact it is having on your life. Ultimately, being in a relationship […]
When your spouse is unreliable
Feeling like your spouse is unreliable is very disappointing. It’s hard enough raising a family, going to work, dealing with all of the responsibilities of life! Not being able to depend on the other adult in your immediate compounds that difficulty. What to do when your partner is unreliable There are several reasons why your […]
Should you work on your own “stuff” before trying couples work?
For many couples, or one partner, even going to marriage counseling is a big stretch. You may be afraid the therapist will take sides or blame you. You may even think that addressing the situation will make it worse. That’s why it is extremely unhelpful for a therapist to tell one partner that he/she needs […]
How do you know if you need marriage counseling?
If you’re wondering when it’s time to think about going to marriage counseling, know that here are signs that a couple would benefit from marriage counseling and some of those signs may seem obvious to one and not appear obvious to another! Signs that marriage counseling can be beneficial for you The littlest conversations turn […]
What is the best marital therapy? How is Gottman different from Imago therapy?
With all of the choices of marriage counselors practicing different kinds of therapy modalities out there, how can you know what is the best marital therapy and most importantly, what is the best marriage help for your unique situation? Let’s talk about the differences between Gottman therapy and Imago therapy as those are two very […]
When your partner upsets with negativity
Sometimes there’s a situation in a relationship where one partner is working hard to be more positive and the other partner is consistently negative. This can start as a minor annoyance and grow to something catastrophic for a marriage. It’s a relationship dynamic that can be incredibly hard, especially for the one that is working […]
What to do if you are no longer physically attracted to your spouse?
Life happens, kids happen, weight gain happens. And sometimes our partner can look very different than they did when we first met. What can you do if you are no longer physically attracted to your partner? Let’s think back to when you first fell in love and knew you wanted to commit to the one […]
Are there any couples that are beyond help? Is it ever just too late?
Lots of couples talk with us about their situation and then ask if they’re the worst couple we’ve ever seen. The answer is usually no of course 🙂 Underneath their question is a deeper one which is- “Are we beyond hope? Is this just too messy to fix and is it just too late for […]
When You Physically Recoil from Your Spouse Due to Past Sexual Trauma
Any past traumatic experience keeps a person in survival mode- a tensing of the physical body and the mind – as the brain has one job, which is to keep you safe. Anything that reminds you of the past trauma is going to trigger you and make you feel super reactive all the time because […]
When you can’t trust your spouse, how can you participate in couples counseling? And why should you?
If you can’t trust your spouse, you might be asking yourself why you should even spend the time sitting in the room with him/her working on your marriage! After all, they are the one that cheated and/or betrayed your trust, that wasn’t something you chose to do. This question is one that we get asked […]
How is Imago marriage counseling different from other marriage counseling that you’ve tried?
We get asked that question a lot… “how is your marriage counseling program different than any of the other marriage counseling that we’ve already tried?” At our last group setting couples retreat we held here in Baltimore, MD, a couple asked us the very first day of the retreat, “Our previous therapist told us we […]
4 Things to Do When Dealing With a Toxic Family Member
It’s normal to have arguments, disagreements, and moments of frustration with our in-laws and close loved ones. If the disconnect becomes harmful and toxic, far beyond the occasional “button pushing” that all family members engage in it’s time to take action. “Family.” The word is dynamic, diverse, and loaded with history—and for all of us, occasional conflict, too. How […]
How Trauma from the Past Affect our Adult Relationships
Sometimes when we try to succeed in life, we are held back by trauma from childhood. Trauma plays a huge role in relationships. Not only does childhood trauma impact your relationship with your parent, it unconsciously influences your partner selection and can impact all of your relationships. We find that people tend to look for […]
When Parents Argue – Do Kids Notice?
Children are receptive to the intricate nuances and body language their parents display in front of them. As much as we would like to believe that our children are spared from the marital discord we experience, John Gottman’s research proves that children experience trauma when their parents argue and fight. “Marital discord can influence children […]