Fantasizing About Not Being Married? 3 Signs It’s Time for Marriage Counseling
Don’t wait to get help with your marriage, especially if your relationship has become so unhappy that you’re thinking about what it would be like if you were not married to your spouse. Our colleague, psychologist and relationship researcher Dr. John Gottman, once observed that it takes couples an average of six years1 of unhappiness before […]
My Husband Treats Me Like I Don’t Matter: How Can I Earn His Love & Respect?
When our spouse doesn’t value our input or opinions it can feel like you’re all alone in the world. If your husband isn’t expressing the love and respect that you expect it’s time to think about how this could affect your long-term well-being. Once you’ve come to terms with the ill effects this could have […]
A Financial Inventory for Spouses: Questions to Ask Each Other About Money
Of all the variables that can affect the quality and closeness of our intimate relationships, money is one of the most powerful. But it’s not just about how much money a couple has—how each partner thinks and feels about money plays heavily on a couple’s financial and romantic future. In fact, money fights are one of the most common […]
Is Social Media Harming Your Relationship?
Social media can be a gift and a curse, depending on how you use it—and to be sure, plenty of us use it. Many couples complain about their spouse’s excessive mobile phone usage and social media scrolling because it prevents them from connecting. What’s capturing their attention? Very often, it’s Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, or other social media platforms. […]
People in Conventional Relationships can Learn a Lot from Neurodiverse Couples
Couples with one or both partners on the autism spectrum face challenges just like people in typical relationships do. Neurodiverse couples face communication challenges that can be addressed to maintain healthy, fulfilling, and long-lasting relationships. That said, there are plenty of unique strengths or benefits to being in a neurodiverse relationship! And while no two […]
What is a Couples Counseling Vacation?
If you have a goal to travel more, consider adding a couples retreat to your itinerary! In this article, let’s talk about what couples counseling vacations are, what to look for in a couples retreat, and what the benefits are of going on this type of adventure with your spouse. What Are Couples Counseling Vacations? […]
Why It’s Important to Go On Dates with Your Spouse & 3 Ideas to Try
Remember the excitement you felt when you were first dating your spouse? The amount of care you put into your outfit and your appearance? The anticipation of seeing each other and the strong desire to reach out and connect again? Going on dates isn’t something only new couples can enjoy. In fact, even though there […]
Is my spouse a narcissist?
Think your spouse is a narcissist? Thankfully there are a lot more resources out there to support a spouse married to an abusive partner. The most important thing is always to make sure that you are physically safe and not in danger. If you are truly safe and you’re just wondering about something someone may […]
Best Gifts to Give Your Spouse According to Their Love Language
The Five Love Languages have been something I have taught my couples for years and people usually find it extremely valuable. Couples often wonder what to gift their partner based on their spouse’s unique love language. Gifts for the Five Love Languages Words of affirmation While everyone enjoys a good word, some of us need […]
What Surrendering in Marriage Really Means (and Why It Builds Trust)
When people hear the word surrender in marriage, it can feel loaded. Many immediately think: Becoming a doormat Losing independence Being taken advantage of But true surrender is not weakness. In fact, it requires self-respect, emotional intelligence, and inner strength. Healthy surrender in marriage is about letting go of unnecessary control, staying open-hearted, and building […]
3 Boundaries You Should Never Cross in Marriage (If You Want Lasting Love)
Boundaries in marriage are often misunderstood. Many think they create distance, but the truth is, healthy boundaries create safety, trust, and respect—the very foundation of intimacy. Think of boundaries as guardrails that protect your relationship from resentment, burnout, and emotional flooding. When couples blur or ignore them, trust erodes. When couples honor them, connection deepens. […]
4 Tips on Staying Present With Each Other During the Holidays
No matter what holidays or traditions you celebrate, the fall and winter seasons tend to get quite hectic. And with so many other demands on your attention—the kids and their academic and extracurricular activities, end-of-year work projects, visits (or Zoom calls) from extended family members, community events—it’s easy for you and your spouse to start feeling like ships […]
Keep a Marriage Gratitude Journal to Help You Appreciate Your Relationship
Nobody means to take their spouse for granted but sometimes we unfortunately get busy with life and our day-to-day routines that we start forgetting how much we appreciate one another. One of the secrets (and maybe it’s not-so-secret) to helping your marriage thrive over time is to maintain an ongoing sense of appreciation and […]
How to Discuss Vaccines When You and Your Spouse Disagree
A healthy marriage is a safe haven. It’s a place where partners can discuss important and often difficult topics with honesty and confidence. But when you and your partner disagree about something as polarizing as the COVID-19 or flu vaccine, the conversation can quickly spiral into unproductive arguments. Many couples have faced this challenge during […]
Is it Okay to See Your Marriage Therapist without Your Spouse?
Most relationship therapists have a policy regarding individual sessions with clients who are attending therapy together. Sometimes counselors allow individual counseling if one party seeks it, while others do not because it can make the other partner feel like their therapist is taking sides. If you have an upcoming session and your partner can’t make […]
On Fighting Fair: How to Disagree with Your Spouse without Fighting
One difference between couples in a healthy versus an unhealthy marriage isn’t whether they argue—it’s how they argue. Think about it; virtually all spouses are going to butt heads from time to time. It’s an inevitable outcome of individual minds creating a life together while still being true to themselves. In fact, a study conducted by John Gottman determined […]
4 Things to Do When Dealing With a Toxic Family Member
It’s normal to have arguments, disagreements, and moments of frustration with our in-laws and close loved ones. If the disconnect becomes harmful and toxic, far beyond the occasional “button pushing” that all family members engage in it’s time to take action. “Family.” The word is dynamic, diverse, and loaded with history—and for all of us, occasional conflict, too. How […]
How to Apologize to Your Spouse and Save Your Marriage: 6 Steps to Break the Cycle
When your marriage feels tense, distant, or on the verge of breaking, you don’t have the luxury of waiting for things to “just get better.” Every conversation can feel like walking on eggshells, and the emotional gap between you and your spouse grows a little wider each day. In moments like these, the right kind […]
When Parents Argue – Do Kids Notice?
Children are receptive to the intricate nuances and body language their parents display in front of them. As much as we would like to believe that our children are spared from the marital discord we experience, John Gottman’s research proves that children experience trauma when their parents argue and fight. “Marital discord can influence children […]
Silent Treatment in Marriage: Why It’s Toxic and How to Stop It
Whether you’re on the receiving end or giving it to your partner, the silent treatment can create a toxic dynamic in marriage. Most of us know what it feels like to shut down during conflict—walking around in cold silence, refusing to respond, or withdrawing behind walls. In the moment, silence may feel like safety or […]