When our spouse doesn’t value our input or opinions it can feel like you’re all alone in the world. If your husband isn’t expressing the love and respect that you expect it’s time to think about how this could affect your long-term well-being. Once you’ve come to terms with the ill effects this could have on your health it’s time to take an honest self-assessment. Let’s take a deep dive into what healthy communication looks like and when communication becomes toxic.
Regardless of the level of affection and respect you expect from him it isn’t healthy for your spouse to treat you like you are worthless.
Have you discussed your concerns with him?
Although this seems like a silly question, many times when a husband or wife are feeling ignored or devalued in their relationship, they don’t discuss their feelings with their partner. While this is understandable given the perceived or real disrespect and resentment it must be addressed.
Transparency Over Fear
Whether from fear of retaliation or an inability to have a productive conversation without it escalating into a fight, the party feeling neglected and insignificant MUST express their extreme concern so they both understand how serious the situation is. Your partner needs to understand that your marriage is spiraling out of control, and how their treatment is affecting you and your relationship. They need to know that from your perspective, you’re on the verge of divorce. Your husband may have become complacent, going through the motions of day-to-day life and slowly started to slip away.
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Taking a Self-Assessment
After having a serious conversation with your partner to discuss both of your concerns and needs you should also take a self-assessment. Think about everyday verbal exchanges and actions to understand how your behavior may be pushing him away or enabling his disrespectful attitude.
Questions to Ask Yourself
Do you nag him about the same things repeatedly?
Do you speak to him respectfully?
Are your appetites for affection mismatched?
Do you make time for date nights, romance, and intimacy?
Does he nag you about the same trivial things repeatedly?
Questions to Ask Your Partner
Do you agree that our relationship is in jeopardy?
Do you want to stay married?
What can I do to earn your respect and affection?
Is my behavior pushing you away somehow?
I want to attend marriage counseling, are you in?
If after asking one another these questions you should be able to determine whether your marriage can be saved. If you are both committed to saving your relationship an immersive two-day marriage therapy retreat can help turn your relationship woes around. Check out our retreat calendar to book upcoming dates near you, in Playa del Carmen, Costa Rica, Florida, or Hawaii!