A lot of couples worry that if they go to a marriage counselor, a therapist will take sides. It’s a valid concern because most marriage counselors do indeed take sides. Unless they are trained in Imago therapy. The Imago dialogue ENSURES a therapist won’t take sides
In Imago therapy, a process called the Imago dialogue is used, where couples sit knee to knee, face to face, and talk with EACH OTHER (not the therapist).
The sender talks and the receiver ONLY repeats back what they’ve heard the sender send. Verbatim. We’ll talk more about why that is below.
More inspiration about Imago therapy and how it prevents a therapist from taking sides:
- Imago therapy is about taking better action
- More than just theory, Imago therapy is deeply healing
- Upcoming Imago workshops
You’re going to see us model a technique called The Imago Dialogue where we use “Mirroring”. These techniques are used in Imago Therapy. There’s a reason why we’ve chosen to use the intentional dialogue when talking about a frustration, and primarily, it’s to keep the environment safe and keep it from getting out of hand.
While this video does not have a 3rd party present, taking the role of the marriage counselor, notice that the dialogue is centered around us, our relationship, not on who has the “issue”. It is about the couple and not about a therapist diagnosing problems.
It allows us to focus on the deeper issue that is lying beneath the surface of the complaint.
(Example:) If I am super angry at my husband, usually those strong feelings of anger stem from an old feeling or traumatic event from childhood, otherwise I wouldn’t be so infuriated.
The best way to learn the Imago dialogue and all of the principles around it- how it works, why it works, and how to use it best, is by attending Imago workshops.
That’s because the founder of Imago himself, Dr. Harville Hendrix, created the Getting the Love You Want workshops, so that couples could spend 2 days immersed in total and real connection.
