Marriage counseling or individual counseling? People often wonder if they should start seeing a therapist for their own “stuff” or if it would be more beneficial to attend marriage counseling together. This is a very important question.

Question: Should I get a divorce or stay married? I’ve gone from definite divorce to possible divorce. My wife and I are both going to attend individual counseling and depending on how that goes we may attend marriage counseling. My intention during this time is to just try to better myself if not just for the sake of us for the sake of my future. I don’t know how much affection I should show right now if any. I also know that I just need to be consistent in my actions in being nice, loving and confident in myself. Should we go to marriage counseling or individual counseling for my own issues?

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Seek our marriage counseling as opposed to individual therapy for an unhappy marriage. Here’s why.

It makes sense you might be in a quandary as to how to proceed but it is promising that you went from definite to possible and that you’re even asking the question of whether or not you should get a divorce or stay married. Anything you can do to learn about yourself and how you act in relationships will only benefit you in the long run, whether you stay together or not.

As I do not know the details of your situation and why you are both attending individual counseling instead of marriage counseling, I do think it is worth pointing out that the individual counseling may not necessarily help you reconcile.

More important reading about this topic of marriage counseling or individual counseling:

In fact, it could point out reasons why not to stay in the relationship. In the worst case, it could even encourage divorce.

Be aware that the best way to deal with your issues as a couple is to do it together.

Although I may be biased as a marriage counselor, I hear regular stories from clients as well as others who contact me where they share how individual therapy was not always encouraging for their relationship.

I am too fearful for couples that an individual therapist may not be responsible enough to not put their views on the individual’s marriage which in turn may lead to doubt and ultimate recommendations to separate. I’ve seen it too many times.

Contact us to experience the power of the 2 Day Marriage Restoration Retreat. Heal both of your individual baggage and childhood together at the same time, while in the context of your relationship. It’s the best and most long lasting way!



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Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online. Contact or