If your wife wants a divorce, it’s important to reflect on what has led up to this point and what could be done differently that might reverse her decision. Learn how to save a marriage when she wants out.
There is usually one person in the marriage who minimizes their energy, (let’s call him the Turtle) and one who maximizes her energy (let’s call her the Hailstorm).
The Turtle goes into his shell when he doesn’t feel safe. The Hailstorm pursues the Turtle when she isn’t noticed or seen-which feels incredibly unsafe and scary to her.
While there are plenty of women that are Turtles, we typically see women as the Hailstorm in the relationship.
This means that she learned at a very young age that in order to get her needs met, she needs to make a lot of noise.
If you’re a turtle, that probably feels very threatening. And it could be the reason why you may have pulled away, checkout out, or been absent emotionally.
The problem is, she needs your attention and might be feeling neglected.
So what you need to do at this point, to get your wife back, is to show up for her and be present so that she can feel loved and cherished.
Learn the Mirroring process in the Imago dialogue so that you can “protect yourself” when she expresses intense emotion.
It will make her feel heard and will make you feel safe.
Talk with us today to begin healing the past, improve your health, become more successful with our 2 Day Marriage Restoration Retreat. We’ve already done the work and created the proven formula that helps 90% of our couples stay together and happy. Talk with us today about the Marriage Restoration Retreat!
There’s nothing quite like the power of gaining clarity on a confusing situation. Complete the form below to talk with Rabbi Slatkin to see what he thinks would be best for you and your unique situation.