When your wife won’t talk. What to do if she’s giving you the silent treatment.
When your wife won’t talk and you’re met with silence, it can feel isolating, frustrating, and even frightening. The silent treatment is one of the most common (and most painful) dynamics couples face. The good news? With the right understanding and tools, you can break the cycle and restore connection. There are things your wife […]
Does the shoemaker have shoes? Our own marriage work.
The Shoemaker usually has no shoes. What’s true in our case of doing marriage work? It was the week before Passover, the busiest time of the year for our family. Rivka saw an email from our therapist listserv, looking for a volunteer couple to work with master therapist, Hedy Schleifer of HedyYumi.com.
Are you guilty of comparing marriages?
The good news is, if you’re guilty of comparing marriages, know that looks can be deceiving. You’d never know from our recent photo shoot that we couldn’t wait for it to end. Between the baby crying and the other kids trying to run away, we couldn’t wait for the photo shoot to be done. But […]
My husband is controlling and I can’t stand him!
What you can’t stand in your spouse may be your own reflection. “My husband is controlling!” “My wife is driving me crazy!” What drives you crazy about your spouse? Do you have a judgment that your husband is controlling and cheap? Do you feel that your wife is impulsive and irresponsible? If you take a […]
Parenting Advice: What Your Child Wishes You Knew…But Won’t Tell You
Every parent wants the best for their children. You invest enormous energy into providing, protecting, and nurturing. And yet, sometimes you see your child struggling and wonder: “What do they really need from me? What am I missing?” The truth is—children don’t always have the words to express what they feel or need. But if […]
Do you have a fear of drifting apart in a relationship?
Do you have a fear of drifting apart in a relationship? Staying happily married requires active participation in growing the relationship. If you’re not careful, it’s easy to drift apart from your spouse.
My spouse will not go to marriage counseling
My Spouse will not go to Marriage Counseling and we need it. What can I do to persuade him/her? You found marriage help that may just work this time, you tell your spouse about it, ask him/her to join you, and you get a big fat “NO”. What are you supposed to do with a […]
Love Again. A Lesson from Passover.
As we approach Passover (Pesach), I have been thinking a lot about how couples can release themselves from the bondage of their negativity and learn to love again. Couples often come in to my marriage counseling office stuck in their “stuff.” While we are usually able to break through and shift the energy in the […]
5 Marriage Communication Problems & How to Fix Them
Key Takeaways Most communication problems in marriage boil down to threat/defense cycles; lowering threat (tone, timing, clarity) unlocks progress. Use a soft start-up (I-statement + one fact + one feeling + one specific request) to reduce defensiveness and increase repair attempts. Replace mind reading and unsolicited advice with active listening and validation phrases so your […]
No Communication in Marriage? Learn Why. Maximizer vs Minimizer Styles
In a marriage, we need to make sure we communicate effectively. Our communication styles dictate for the most part how we react in certain situations, and the two most common communication styles are maximizers and minimizers. A maximizer is loud and boisterous, while the minimizer is reserved and avoids conflict. This dynamic can become very […]
Kabbalah Counseling and Celebrity Divorces
Much was reported a few years ago when Hollywood celebrities Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher turned to Kabbalah as a “last-ditch” effort to save their marriage. While it didn’t work to save their marriage which had recurring bouts of infidelity, the teachings of Kabbalah can be insightful in providing guidance for Ashton Kutcher’s recent second […]
Communication or Provocation? Tips to Fix Communication for Couples
Just got off the phone today with a customer service experience that was quite hellish. Clearly, this business owner never learned how to communicate effectively. It’s amazing that he is still in business with his abusive manner and communication problems.. More inspiration on fixing communication problems in marriage. How to transform your anger into compassion […]
What to do when you are falling out of love
What to do when you are falling out of love? When you feel like you are falling out of love, you need to take action! Not to consider divorce, since that will work against you later on, (see why that is here), but to actually create love! Our love advice may seem counter-intuitive, but it […]
How do you know when your marriage is over or if you’ve just hit a rough patch?
This is one of the most common questions couples in crisis ask—on Reddit forums, in therapy, and when searching online for answers. If you’ve found yourself Googling “When is a marriage beyond saving?” or “What are the signs my marriage is over?”—you’re not alone. Let’s be honest: when you feel disconnected, frustrated, and stuck, it […]
What are the Five Love Languages and How Can Knowing Them Help You?
There are five unique love languages that determine how we as individuals receive our partner’s love the most intensely. Knowing these love languages and determining you and your spouse’s will help you express your love for one another more productively in a way that they receive it the best. “You don’t really love me!” How […]
Boundaries with the Inlaws
Question: I am not looking forward to spending the holidays with my in-laws as it creates a lot of stress in our marriage. Whenever I share with my husband my feelings about his parents and my desire to set boundaries with the inlaws, he always gets defensive and stands up for them over me. I […]
My Marriage is in Crisis: How Can I Get my Wife to Love Me Again?
“How can I get my wife to love me again?” is a question that many husbands ask themselves, especially when their wives are giving them the cold shoulder or the silent treatment. This marriage crisis may feel impossible to overcome and is definitely the “elephant in the room” if you’re walking around wondering how to […]
Marriage Problems. We all have them, what are yours?
Every couple experiences marriage problems at some point in their relationship. Some couples have big problems, some small, but we all have them. You may be pushing away the problems, hoping they’ll go away. Or perhaps you try to speak about the problems to your spouse to try to fix them, and it only makes […]
How to Improve Your Marriage When Your Spouse Refuses to Talk
When a spouse won’t talk, some people try to open up the conversation right away, while others focus first on adjusting their own responses and behaviors to create a safer, calmer space for communication later. A Story for You — Hope for When Your Spouse Won’t Talk About a year ago I received a call […]
How to be a good father
How to be a good father? Although fathers may often seem like silent partners in raising children, their role or lack thereof is quite impactful on the lives of both sons and daughters. As we age and become parents, we undoubtedly become aware of the importance of fathers. Many of these lessons were implicit in […]