Respond vs. React: How No-Blame, No-Shame Communication Can Transform Your Marriage
By Rivka Slatkin, Co-Founder of The Marriage Restoration Project I’ll be honest—I find it really hard to respond vs. react. It takes effort to use conscious, compassionate communication instead of falling back on my default reaction—especially when I’m tired, hungry, or feeling threatened. But here’s the truth: nothing “forces” us to grow more than marriage […]
What’s Really Going on Behind the Scenes of the Therapy World…from the Wife of a Marriage Counselor!
The Good, the Bad, the Ugly. I can reveal a bit more than my husband Shlomo can (therapist) about what’s REALLY going on behind the scenes in the therapy world as the wife of a therapist and not having the limitations of being one myself. It’s so wonderful that we are in a world where […]
How to Constructively Communicate Your Frustration(s) to Your Spouse: A Close Look at the Imago Dialogue
Let’s talk about something that happens in all relationships at one point or another – feeling frustrated with your spouse. Communicating Effectively Using Imago It’s perfectly normal. Whether it’s how many times each of you cook dinner over the week, messes left uncleaned or the bigger stuff like feeling undervalued or overlooked, these frustrations can […]
Marriage Counseling Can Make Things Worse – This is How to Make Sure it Won’t Deepen Your Relationship Issues
What happens when your genuine attempt to save your marriage—your time, money, and emotional energy invested in traditional weekly couples therapy—actually leaves you feeling more hurt and disconnected than before? Unfortunately, this is more common than people realize. Many couples report online (especially in Reddit’s r/relationships and r/marriage threads) that “marriage counseling made things worse” […]
Stuck in the Imago Minimizer/Maximizer Communication Pattern Trap?
In marriages, the minimizer/maximizer dynamic describes how partners respond to stress and conflict: minimizers tend to withdraw, while maximizers seek engagement and expression. This difference in communication styles in conflict can lead to misunderstandings and tension if not properly managed. The Minimizer/Maximizer Relationship Dynamic is Common in High Conflict Marriages If you’re in a relationship […]
Improving Marriage Intimacy by Embracing the Differing Needs of Men & Women in Relationships
The road toward true relationship intimacy can be a long and winding one full of curves, highs, and lows. The unconditional acceptance, reciprocal love and affection in a truly intimate marriage relationship is the ultimate prize worth fighting for. When the initial romance wanes, and it does in all relationships, it’s time to get to […]
Deepening the Connection: The Imago Way to a Conscious Marriage (part 2)
In Part 1 of “Choosing Each Other Again: The Imago Way to a Conscious Marriage“ we explored the crucial role of choosing your partner every day to maintain a strong and healthy relationship. We introduced how Imago Relationship Therapy helps couples understand the reasons behind their initial attraction and provides them with practical strategies to […]
Is this Your Marriage? Take the Maximizer or Minimizer Quiz and Get a Helpful Assessment of the State Your Relationship!
Did the Maximizer/Minimizer dynamic feel familiar to you? It’s based on Imago Therapy’s turtles and hailstorm dynamic which is a relief for so many couples to discover. If these quiz questions describe your relationship we can help you! All of our programs (workshops, courses, private intensive counseling address and explore how to fix it through […]
Choosing Each Other Again: The Imago Way to a Conscious Marriage
Is Imago Therapy Right for You? If you’ve ever thought: “Did I marry the right person?” “We keep having the same fight over and over.” “Counseling didn’t work for us in the past.” …you’re not alone. These doubts are not only normal but, in Imago Therapy, they’re actually a signpost: an invitation to rediscover why […]
Do we still believe in marriage?
In 2017 I published an article called “How My Therapist Destroyed My Marriage“. It was pretty controversial. I got a lot of “hate mail” from other therapists. Others Have Experienced Nightmarish Marriage Counseling Fails as Well I must admit that I felt a little intimidated until my phone started ringing (and still does) with those […]
How to Apologize to Your Spouse Effectively: Healing Through the No Blame, No Shame Approach
Written by Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, MS, LCPC, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and founder of The Marriage Restoration Project -Over 20 years helping couples heal communication breakdowns through evidence-based relational practices. Creator of the No Blame, No Shame approach, featured in media and workshops worldwide. If you’ve ever wondered how to apologize to your spouse effectively, […]
When Communication Isn’t Enough: Signs You Need Marriage Therapy or a Retreat
Alex and Jordan’s story is all too familiar. Once full of laughter and late-night talks, their marriage now revolves around schedules, chores, and quiet resentment. At first, the change felt subtle — but one day they realized: we’re not really talking anymore. If this sounds familiar, you may be asking: Do we just need better […]
Relationship Check-In Questions for Couples: A Self-Care Ritual That Strengthens Love
Why Relationship Check-Ins Are the New Self-Care for Couples It’s tempting to think of self-care as something individual—bubble baths, meditation, or time alone. But the healthiest couples know that relationship self-care means tending to the us, not just the me. When we don’t check in emotionally, small misunderstandings pile up, resentment builds quietly, and connection […]
How to Build Emotional Intimacy with Your Spouse: 3 Proven Ways to Feel Closer Than Ever
Exploring the Essence of Emotional Intimacy in Relationships Have you ever felt a subtle but persistent longing in your marriage—a sense that something important is missing, even though the love is still there? Often, that gap isn’t caused by a lack of affection, but by the absence of something deeper: emotional intimacy1. Emotional intimacy is […]
Still Love Your Spouse but Not “In Love”? 5 Proven Steps to Rekindle the Spark
Why So Many Couples Feel This Way If you’ve ever thought: “I love my spouse, but I’m not in love anymore,” you’re not alone. Thousands of couples Google this exact phrase every month. Relationships naturally go through stages. The honeymoon phase eventually gives way to the “power struggle” — where routines, responsibilities, and old arguments […]
When Your Spouse Avoids Relationship Talks: 5 Strategies to Encourage Open Dialogue
One of the most common frustrations couples share is: “My spouse shuts down when I try to talk about our relationship.” Silence can feel like rejection, but it usually doesn’t mean a lack of love. More often, withdrawal is a protective mechanism—a way to avoid vulnerability or conflict. Still, when one partner avoids relationship talks, […]
15 Signs of a Healthy Marriage: Green Flags from a Relationship Therapist
Key Takeaways Healthy marriages center on perceived partner responsiveness—feeling understood, validated, and cared for predicts relationship quality. A high positive-to-negative interaction ratio (about 5:1) and effective repair attempts during conflict are hallmarks of thriving couples. Active-constructive responding to a partner’s good news (“capitalization”) strengthens satisfaction and intimacy. Regular gratitude expressions reliably boost relationship satisfaction and […]
What Really Works When Marriage Gets Hard? 3 Strategies Couples Need to Know Before Choosing Counseling
Marriage isn’t always smooth sailing. Some days you’re deeply connected, and other days you’re stuck in tension, wondering if things will ever get better. If you’ve been asking “What really works when marriage gets hard so we don’t turn into roommates instead of soulmates?”—you’re not alone. Studies show that most couples experience multiple rocky phases […]
Are You Really Incompatible—Or Just Stuck in Conflict? How to Tell the Difference
You didn’t get married expecting to feel this alone. The tension. The arguments over small things. The silence that lingers even when nothing is wrong. You start to wonder: “Are we just too different? Are we even compatible anymore?” It’s a painful question. But before you decide incompatibility is the issue, consider this: Most couples […]
Is Imago Therapy Right for You? Common Concerns, Contraindications, and Who It Helps Most
Imago Relationship Therapy (IRT) has helped thousands of couples around the world reconnect and heal. But like any therapeutic approach, it isn’t a perfect fit for every couple in every situation. If you’re considering Imago therapy, you might be wondering: 👉 What are its limitations?👉 When is it not recommended?👉 Who benefits most from it? […]