It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that taking care of ourselves somehow takes away from our relationships. We’re often led to believe that the more we give and sacrifice, the better partners we are. But here’s the truth: neglecting our own well-being doesn’t make us better lovers or friends; it just leaves us drained and our relationships strained. 

Self-care isn’t about choosing ourselves over our partners—it’s about ensuring we’re at our best so our relationships can be too. It’s not selfish; it’s fundamental. It’s about filling your own cup so you can lovingly pour into others, including your partner, without running dry.

True love, the kind that grows and deepens over time, involves taking care of ourselves and each other, not just emotionally but in all aspects of well-being. This is where the concept of doing self-care together comes into play, transforming it from an individual activity into a shared journey of growth and connection.

Imagine self-care as a bridge, not a barrier, to a stronger relationship. When couples engage in self-care together, they unlock a myriad of benefits for their relationship. It’s about more than just the individual peace or relaxation that comes from self-care; it’s about creating a shared experience that enhances understanding, empathy, and connection. This shared journey not only boosts each partner’s well-being but also acts as a catalyst for relationship growth, bringing a fresh perspective to the idea of caring for each other.

Let’s explore how the act of caring for ourselves alongside our partner can be the ultimate expression of love and commitment!

Why Self-Care is Your Relationship’s Secret Superpower

Energize Your Love Life: Imagine your relationship as a lively dance. Now, what happens when one dancer is exhausted? The rhythm falters, steps get missed, and toes might get stepped on. This is precisely what occurs in relationships when self-care takes a backseat. Partners who zealously guard their well-being don’t just dodge the dance of burnout and resentment; they bring a zest and lightness to their relationship dance floor. It’s about more than staying upright; it’s about twirling with joy and resilience, keeping the dance of your relationship lively and fluid.

Build a Fortress of Support: Think of your relationship as a castle. Self-care is the stonework that fortifies this castle against the sieges of life’s challenges. When both partners tend to their well-being, the walls of your fortress are impenetrable, not because challenges don’t come your way, but because you’re both equipped with the emotional strength to defend and support your shared kingdom. This isn’t about surviving; it’s about thriving within your castle, knowing that it’s built on a foundation of mutual support, empathy, and unwavering love.

Deepen Your Connection Beyond Words: Shared self-care isn’t just another item on your to-do list; it’s the secret passage to a hidden garden where your emotional bonds can flourish. These moments spent together in self-care are like watering the garden of your relationship, nurturing the soil of intimacy and understanding. Each shared experience, be it a quiet meditation or a heart-pounding adventure, is a seed planted in this garden, growing into a beautiful, ever-blooming display of your mutual love, respect, and connection.

Self-Care Tips for Couples

Embarking on a self-care journey together can be one of the most rewarding adventures for a couple. Here are five ways to practice self-care as a couple: 

  1. Engaging in Shared Physical Activities

Why not turn physical activity into an opportunity for connection? Whether it’s yoga, hiking, or dancing, moving together can synchronize your energies and deepen your bond. These activities aren’t just fun; they’re catalysts for releasing endorphins, boosting both your moods and creating a shared reservoir of positivity and health. Imagine the joy of reaching a mountaintop together or the laughter in a dance class mishap. These moments aren’t just about getting fit; they’re about creating joyful memories together.

2. Cultivating a Shared Hobby or Interest

Diving into a new hobby or nurturing a shared interest offers a unique way to grow together. Be it the culinary arts, gardening, or the nuances of photography, these shared passions provide a fertile ground for collaboration and creativity. As you learn and evolve together, you’re not just cultivating a hobby; you’re nurturing your relationship’s growth, sprinkling it with new experiences and discoveries that can become cherished shared memories.

3. Practicing Mindfulness and Meditation Together

Imagine starting or ending your day sitting side by side, breathing in sync, and simply being present with each other. Joint mindfulness or meditation sessions are powerful practices that can calm the mind, reduce stress, and bring a profound sense of peace and connection to your relationship. This shared stillness can help harmonize your energies and foster a deep, unspoken understanding, enriching your emotional intimacy.

4. Regular Relationship Check-ins

Set aside a time each week or month for a relationship ‘check-in.’ This is your moment to share thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires openly. Think of it as essential maintenance for your emotional connection, ensuring that small grievances don’t grow into chasms. These check-ins reinforce the foundation of trust and understanding in your relationship, keeping the channels of communication wide open. Our Relationship Vision & Couples Reconnection Journal was designed to help couples have safe and emotionally connected conversations.

5. Planning Relaxing Retreats or Getaways

Occasionally, stepping away from the daily grind to focus solely on each other can rekindle romance and refresh your bond. Whether it’s a weekend retreat in nature or a leisurely getaway, these moments away are invaluable. They offer a pause from routine, a chance to reconnect, and an opportunity to create new, joyful memories. It’s about dedicating time to celebrate your love, far from the distractions of everyday life.

Nurturing Your Connection in Paradise

As we’ve explored various pathways to deepen the bond within your relationship through shared self-care practices, one unique option stands as a beacon for couples seeking to immerse themselves fully in the journey of mutual growth and rejuvenation. For those looking to blend the beauty of self-care with the magic of a tropical getaway, our Imago Couples’ Therapy Retreats offer an unparalleled opportunity.

Set against the backdrop of stunning natural beauty, these retreats are more than just a chance to escape the everyday; they are a deep dive into the heart of your relationship. Here, in the tranquility of a tropical paradise, you and your partner will be guided through transformative practices rooted in Imago Therapy, designed to foster understanding, empathy, and a renewed sense of connection.

Imagine dedicating days to nurturing your relationship, away from the distractions of daily life, where every activity and conversation is an opportunity to rediscover each other and strengthen your bond. It’s an invitation to tend to the garden of your marriage, ensuring it flourishes in the warmth of attention and care.

While exploring self-care activities together at home is invaluable, the immersive experience of a retreat offers a unique setting to focus entirely on each other and your relationship. If you’re intrigued by the possibility of combining the adventure of travel with the deep work of enhancing your partnership, we invite you to consider this special opportunity to nurture your connection.

Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online. Contact or