unwilling spouseMarried to an unwilling spouse who won’t work on your relationship with you? One of the questions I am frequently asked by readers, is what do I do if my spouse is not interested in working on the relationship. I would like to share an amazing email I received last week from one of our readers.

Good morning, I was on Aish.com and found you on the website. When I clicked onto your website I began reading your book which was a G-d send to me as that was about the time my husband had told me he no longer knew how he felt about me. I was devastated. I read 6 things you can do with an unwilling partner. At first I thought…no way, but at this point what did I have to lose? I am not good at communication. I tend to hold a lot in and talk to myself instead. Needless to say I tried it. It has been 2 months since my husband told me that he did not know how he felt. The hurt of that I’m sure will stay as a reminder to me that I NEED to open up to him and with that I started taking initiative with my unwilling partner to listen, take responsibility for my role, etc. My husband has been kissing me hello and goodbye, calling me during the day while he is gone to work. It has been amazing and wonderful to have my best friend back. I wanted to tell you “Thank You” for helping me find my way back to our marriage. Appreciating him and telling him is now coming easier than I thought I could do before. Again, thank you! Melanie

Is there hope for you and your unwilling spouse?

While it would be nice if we could convince our unwilling spouse to come to counseling, there is still hope even if they are disinterested. When we take responsibility for our role in our relationship like Melanie and show up with our best selves, we can cause our partner’s feelings towards us to change.

You can learn how to do this better in our self help marriage counseling program. We’d love to hear your success story like Melanie.

With best wishes for your relationship success,

Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin