4 Ways to Improve Your Marriage When Your Spouse Is Not Interested

Do you wish your marriage could be better even when your spouse isn’t interested? Are there changes you’d like to see in your spouse but you don’t know how to even broach the subject? A couple should ideally work together on their relationship, but if you find yourself going at it alone, don’t despair. Here are 4 ways to improve your marriage when your spouse is not interested.

4 Things in Imago Relationships Crucial to Bringing Back Intimacy

Change yourself by replacing criticism with calm curiosity. The Talmud (Bava Metzia 107b) says, “First correct yourself and then correct others.” When you stop the criticism, the nagging, and the negativity, your spouse won’t feel defensive and will be more apt to change.When your spouse sees you focusing on bettering yourself instead of harping on what he or she is doing wrong, your spouse will be happier and there’s a good chance he or she will pull his fair share of the load.

Recognize and praise your spouse’s positive attributes. You may feel that your spouse’s good qualities have gone underground for quite some time.Those positive attributes you fell in love with seem to have been a mirage.

The truth is that they are still there but they are dormant. You can bring back those positive attributes by focusing your attention on them.

The Hebrew word hallel means both to praise and to shine forth.

Praising another’s qualities awakens those latent qualities within that person, allowing them to shine forth. We aren’t talking about flattery, but genuine acknowledgment and appreciation. Those virtues are in there; they just need to be revealed.

Improve your listening skills. Even the best communicators don’t always know how to listen. Listening is other-focused.This means no interruptions, advice, retorts, or reactivity.

If you are really listening, you are entering the other’s world and temporarily suspending your reality.

You begin to see the world from your spouse’s point of view. When you listen and your spouse feels heard and validated, he or she feels understood and is no longer on guard.

Practice not-so-random acts of kindness. The Hebrew for love, ahavah, also means to give, have.Giving is an expression of love and it’s not limited to presents.

There are many ways to give to your spouse, whether it’s your time, helping with chores, or a kind word.

Learn to give your spouse the gifts that really make him or her feel cared for.

More inspiration about how to improve your marriage when your spouse is not interested:

Often the underlying need in a relationship under stress is that one or both partners don’t feel cared for. By speaking our spouse’s love language and caring for them in the unique way in which they need, a few little acts a day can go a long way in making the other feel more secure.

Although it takes two to tango, it only takes one to affect change in a relationship.

When we break unhelpful patterns by doing things differently, it has a ripple effect.

For more intensive help on winning back an uninterested spouse, take the 10 Steps to Win Your Spouse Back Challenge.

One person’s change can allow the other to experience the relationship differently and change as well.

Even if you feel you are the one who is doing all of the work in the relationship, start thinking about these new ways to improve your marriage and be pleasantly surprised at the outcome.

After you implement these 4 suggestions, you may find that your spouse suddenly becomes interested in working with you to reconnect. The best way to reconnect is through our 2 Day Private Marriage Restoration Retreat (Now Virtual) – a safe place for you to explore what led to the rupture and tools for becoming passionate once again. We also offer group marriage workshops hosted online via Zoom, where you’ll get a chance to socialize with other couples who are learning to improve their relationships with imago therapy. We also Talk with us about scheduling a time for you and your spouse to reconnect and heal together!

There’s nothing quite like the power of gaining clarity on a confusing situation. Complete the form below to talk with Rabbi Slatkin to see what he thinks would be best for you and your unique situation.


                        Name*
                            
                            
                                                    
                                                    First
                                                
                            
                            
                                                    
                                                    Last
                                                
                            
                        
Hidden
Name 
Hidden
Email Address 
Email*
                            
                        
Phone Number* 
What is your wish for your marriage? How would you like your marriage to feel?
What do you feel is the reason that your marriage is not where you would like it to be?
How committed are you on a scale of 1-10 to get your marriage to the way you would like it to feel, as you described above? 
Have you considered attending a Marriage Retreat before? 
By submitting this form, you are giving us permission to add you to our email list.*
								
								Yes, please
							
You will receive our free 60 Second Plan to a Happy Marriage, along with transformational emails that will help you with your marriage.
Consent By using this form you agree with this site's privacy policy and consent to you submitted data being collected and stored. We take your privacy seriously, and will never spam you.
CAPTCHA
          
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
            
        
                        Δ

Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online.

Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online.

FEATURED IN

Get effective relationship help even if you’ve tried couples counseling before.

Name(Required)

First Last

Phone

Email(Required)

What type of therapy are you interested in? *

Two Day Intensive

Couples Weekend

Couples Retreat

Not Sure Yet

Privacy*

I understand and agree to the mentioned terms.

*By using this form you agree with this site's privacy policy and consent to you submitted data being collected and stored. We take your privacy seriously, and will never spam you. - In addition, you are giving us permission to add you to our email list. You will receive our free 60 Second Plan to a Happy Marriage, along with transformational emails that will help you with your marriage.

CAPTCHA