If you’ve ever thought, “Our marriage is beyond saving,” this story will give you hope.
What follows is a personal letter from one of our couples who once believed their relationship was beyond repair. Their story shows what’s possible when even one person refuses to give up.
A Letter from a Couple Who Almost Didn’t Make It
Dear Rabbi Slatkin,
I receive your weekly blog posts and recently read your article, “How Do You Know When Your Marriage Is Over?” You debunked common reasons couples think justify divorce — and boldly claimed that even the worst marriage can be saved.
I wanted to share our story because if any marriage was doomed, it was ours.
We came to see you almost a year ago. We only made it to one session. My husband didn’t want to continue, and since he was unemployed and I was making a meager salary, we couldn’t afford weekly therapy.
We did buy your 5 Step Plan to a Happy Marriage program, but we didn’t touch it for months. Things only got worse. One night, my husband threw burning grease at my face. I thought it was over. Then he was jailed on false charges. I lost my job. I became sick for months — and discovered there was a sewage leak in my bedroom that was poisoning me.
It was rock bottom. But also, the turning point.
I downloaded your audio files onto my husband’s phone, hoping he might listen. I didn’t even know he had started until I noticed something different: he was calmer, kinder, and actually listening.
He had begun using your tools — on his own. Slowly, we started reconnecting. The bickering stopped. For the first time in years, I had hope.
Today, we’re expecting our first child. We couldn’t be happier. Your program saved our marriage. If it could help us — it can help anyone.
With gratitude,
A once-hopeless couple
What This Story Teaches Us
This letter captures the essence of why we tell couples: never give up.
Even in situations filled with pain, anger, or past trauma, transformation is possible when one partner takes the first step.
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Healing doesn’t always start in therapy. Sometimes, it starts in private — with a book, a video, or a single act of courage.
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When one spouse changes how they respond, the entire dynamic shifts.
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Hope is not naive — it’s strategic.
This couple didn’t have money for weekly counseling. They didn’t have the perfect relationship. But they had the willingness to try one more thing.
Why Even the Worst Marriages Can Be Saved
In our work with couples over the last two decades, we’ve seen every scenario imaginable — affairs, resentment, silence, trauma, addiction, and betrayal.
And we’ve also seen couples rebuild trust, rekindle affection, and fall in love again.
The reason some marriages recover while others don’t has less to do with “what happened” and more to do with whether both partners are willing to stop blaming and start reconnecting.
That’s exactly what our 5 Step Plan to a Happy Marriage teaches — how to rebuild safety, communication, and connection step by step, no matter how far things have gone.
Why the 5 Step Plan Works
Unlike traditional counseling that may take months to gain traction, this program is structured, practical, and emotionally focused.
You’ll learn:
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How to stop painful patterns of blame and defensiveness.
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How to talk without triggering more arguments.
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How to rediscover love and compassion, even after deep hurt.
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How to rebuild trust through daily connection exercises.
It’s not magic — it’s neuroscience and emotional repair, grounded in Imago Relationship Therapy principles.
Couples who commit to these steps often say the same thing: “We wish we had found this sooner.”
The Power of Not Giving Up
If this couple’s story proves anything, it’s that love can return — even after devastation.
No matter how broken your marriage feels right now, change begins with one decision: to keep showing up.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just need to take the next step.
Start with our free resources or the 5 Step Plan to a Happy Marriage and see what’s still possible for your relationship.
Key Takeaways
- Even the most broken marriages can be saved with the right tools and mindset.
- Change begins when one partner decides to lead with compassion and accountability.
- Programs like the 5 Step Plan offer an affordable, private way to heal at home.
- Real couples — like the one above — prove that there’s always hope, no matter how bad it seems.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can every marriage really be saved?
Not every situation is safe to stay in. But in most cases — even after years of hurt — change is possible if both partners are willing to try.
What if my spouse refuses counseling?
Start alone. Many spouses begin the 5 Step Plan privately and later find their partner becomes curious or inspired to join.
How long does it take to fix a marriage?
Change can happen quickly with consistent effort. Many couples see noticeable shifts in days or weeks when using structured communication tools.
Can this work after infidelity or abuse?
Healing after trauma takes care and boundaries, but we’ve seen countless couples restore connection even after severe breaches of trust.
Isn’t it too late for us?
If you’re still asking that question, it’s not too late. The desire to rebuild means there’s still something worth saving.
Sources
- The Marriage Restoration Project. 5 Step Plan to a Happy Marriage, Marriage Intensives.
- Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
- Imago Relationships International. Imago Therapy and Safe Conversations Framework.
- American Psychological Association (APA). “Relationship Repair and Resilience.”
- Hendrix, H., & Hunt, H. L. (2013). Making Marriage Simple. Harmony Books.
