When it comes to relationships, one piece of advice that is more common than not is to never talk politics. Certainly a divisive topic, politics can quickly ignite a ‘fight to the death’ mode that can quickly come between the most secure and loving of couples and relationships. This is especially true in the United States, which essentially functions under a bi-partisan or two-party political system. With this landscape, it’s easy to fall into an ‘us vs. them’ mentality that demonizes the other political party, which can taint your view of your spouse and vice versa.
Differences in opinion in the world of politics can inspire feelings of anger and resentment alongside disappointment and sorrow, especially when it comes to relationships. Not every couple is going to agree on every issue. And while politics might not be the hottest topic for every couple, there are certainly those out there who are asking, “My husband is obsessed with politics – what do I do?” or “My wife is obsessed with politics – how do I navigate this?”
If you’re feeling trapped in the divisive political landscape and can’t seem to make headway with your spouse, there are steps that you can take to refocus on your relationship and rebuild the value that you both find within it. Of course, this involves work on both sides, but it will lead to a happier, lasting relationship, even with further disagreements. Interested in learning how to navigate your relationship when you just can’t seem to agree on politics? We’re happy to help. Keep reading to discover the best methods to reset your thinking and focus on your relationship to get past the political divide.
Recognize the Issue of Ego Trapping
The first step in navigating the divide of politics in any relationship is to recognize the self-absorption that comes from believing that you are right and your spouse is undeniably wrong in their opinion. This causes a fixation on the issue at hand, leaving you with no room to appreciate your spouse or your relationship. By recognizing the selfishness and self-absorption that lies in this ‘ego trap,’ you can move beyond the issue and reestablish the value of your spouse and your relationship, focusing on the ‘we’ and working together to overcome the obstacle.
Don’t be Afraid to Step Away to Calm Down
There is no denying that politics can inspire a wide array of emotions, ranging from elation to dismay to anger. When you find yourself in a heated discussion with your partner and are growing stressed or anxious about their differences in opinion, try taking a step away to calm down before you react. If you react out of stress, anxiety, or anger to what they are saying, this will cause them to react accordingly. This chain reaction can undermine the safety and connection that you feel in your relationship. By stepping away, you preserve this continuity and exercise the ability to choose how you react to any situation.
Take the Time to Listen
This may be the last thing that you want to do when it comes to differing opinions in politics, but taking the time to actually listen to what your spouse is saying is actually a step towards protecting your marriage. You don’t need to agree with what they are saying, but by actively listening to them, you reinforce the safety and connection between you. Take the “I” out of the situation and focus on what they’re actually saying with an open mind, even if you disagree. By practicing listening to your partner rather than focusing on being right, the focus will be on the relationship itself and will help build more long-lasting connections.
Be Willing to Compromise
Along with taking time to listen and stepping away from a stressful situation, navigating a marriage with differing views on politics may involve compromise on both sides. This doesn’t necessarily involve either of you giving up your political opinions. Rather, it involves appreciation of their differing perspective, recognition of the value of the relationship, and movements on both sides to bridge the gap.
However, when thinking about compromise, it’s important to remember that there is no compromise when there is no relationship. By focusing on strengthening your relationship and seeing your differing opinions as an issue you are conquering together, both partners will be more willing to budge on their opinions, as they’ll see the inherent worth in their spouse and in the relationship itself.
Seek Out Help
For relationships that just can’t seem to get past the political divide, it doesn’t hurt to reach out for professional assistance with Imago Relationship therapy. This philosophy suggests that struggle is inevitable in any relationship and that couples need to recognize the issue and work together to get past it. When both partners are aware of what is happening, they can work together to overcome hurdles and look beyond their political differences. In fact, they can even begin to see their differences as an asset rather than as a liability, such as offering a unique perspective into what is happening in the political landscape.
Finding Common Ground: Navigating Political Differences in Marriage
In today’s day and age, politics can easily become one of the most divisive topics in any relationship. When you find yourself saying, “My husband and I fight about politics – what should we do?,” there are a few key steps that you can take to mitigate the disagreement and find common ground. By taking a step back to calm down, making sure to take the time to listen to what they have to say, being willing to compromise, and seeking out help if needed, you can reinforce the safety and connection in your relationship and strengthen it for the long-term.
For those who are interested in pursuing professional assistance in navigating the tricky political landscape with their spouse, we’re happy to help support you along your journey. Get in touch with us to speak to one of our licensed marriage counselors and we’ll help start you and your spouse on the path to finding common ground and strengthening your marriage.
