Marriage Counseling | Imago Couples Therapy | Marriage Restoration

How Trauma from the Past Affect our Adult Relationships

Sometimes when we try to succeed in life, we are held back by trauma from childhood. Trauma plays a huge role in relationships. Not only does childhood trauma impact your relationship with your parent, it unconsciously influences your partner selection and can impact all of your relationships. We find that people tend to look for someone familiar and wind up getting triggered by their spouse in those very areas that they were wounded growing up.

We all grow up facing challenges throughout our lifetime and it is particularly hard for children to walk away unscathed from their experience.

This is not to blame our caregivers, after all, your parents did the best that they could with the tools that they had. But now, as an adult, you might find yourself not having fully forgiven past offenses. You’ll know that to be the case if you find yourself triggered by others.

As Dr. Harville Hendrix says, ”The unconscious is trying to resurrect the past is not a matter of habit or blind compulsion but of a compelling need to heal old childhood wounds.”

We are placed in situations with others where conflict will arise- and this time around- we have the chance to get it right; finally getting our needs met.

Steps to begin healing trauma you experienced as a child

  1. The first thing to do is become conscious and understand what you are currently experiencing and how it may be related to the past. This is the first step to enable you to live more intentionally. As you do that you can have more control over how you react to the trigger, and the choices you make.
  2. You may also want to have a safe conversation with your loved ones about your traumatic experience so they can understand you and have more compassion.
  3. Learn to articulate your needs around what you want in the present that will help you heal and not get reactivated.

Shortcut to Help Couples Heal Together using Meditation

After working to heal our own old wounds from childhood, we hit a plateau (after 18 years) in our own personal journey towards growth and healing.

Sure, everything we’d been doing with Imago therapy and our relationship was working just fine but we wanted a little bit of a push!

We discovered that the healing power of meditation coupled with our relationship work could be even more powerful towards lasting growth and change.

But we couldn’t find any books that talked about both healing relationships PLUS meditations. And so we wrote one!

Introducing…Emerging Childhood Unscathed: an inner child healing journal/workbook

In this book you will discover:

  • What to do when you’ve hit a plateau in your personal journey towards growth and healing
  • Meditations for Couples and for Individuals to improve their quality of life
  • Why you should always do this before every conversation
  • What you need to feel emotionally safe
  • That’s because this book deals with your unconscious mind as well as your conscious mind so you don’t need to “try” or make an effort for it to work, it just does when you ultimately quiet the mind

In this healing childhood trauma workbook you will discover:

  • What to do when you’ve hit a plateau in your personal journey towards growth and healing childhood trauma
  • Affirmations for the Inner Child
  • Meditations to heal childhood neglect
  • Forgiveness for couples and past trauma
  • That’s because Emerging Childhood Unscathed helps heal your inner child and your unconscious mind without heaps of effort. It works when you ultimately quiet the mind

 

Wanting to try some mindfulness with your partner?

Meditation and mindfulness are all the rage these days. Have you meditated before?

In Emerging Childhood Unscathed, we talk a lot about how Rivka and Shlomo, our founders, turned to meditation and mindfulness when they felt they reached a plateau in their own person growth.

They were able to achieve new levels of consciousness and understanding through meditation with regards to their own respective needs and then come together in relationship a bit more mindful.

An exciting journey awaits you ahead!

To buy the book on Amazon, click here

To take a look at our other published works, you can view those here in our Bookstore.

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Contact The Marriage Restoration Project to book a marital therapy retreat or book a 30 minute consultation call online now.

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Picture of Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online.

Picture of Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online.

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