Is Divorce Worth It? Falling Out of Love? Avoid Divorce with a Marriage Retreat

The Real Question: Is Divorce Worth It?

If you’re asking yourself whether divorce is worth it, you’re likely exhausted — emotionally, mentally, maybe even physically. The fighting, the loneliness, the constant disappointment — it’s enough to make anyone want out.

But before you make a permanent decision about a temporary feeling, it’s important to look at both sides.

The Pros and Cons of Divorce

What You Might Gain:

• Relief from constant conflict and emotional tension

• Freedom to start fresh or find someone “better suited”

• Temporary peace or space to breathe

What You’ll Likely Lose:

• Financial stability — alimony, legal fees, and reduced income

• Time with your children (shared custody is emotionally taxing)

• Emotional security and companionship

• A piece of your shared history and identity

And if you have children, the truth is: you’re never really done with your spouse. Co-parenting means constant interaction — often under more stress than before.

Divorce Might Relieve Pain — But Only Short-Term

Many people think divorce will solve the pain of their marriage. But once the dust settles, new challenges take its place.

Women often feel empowered by their independence — until loneliness sets in, especially if their ex remarries quickly.
Men often imagine peace without “drama” — but end up missing companionship and emotional support.

Divorce may stop the arguing, but it doesn’t automatically heal the loneliness, regret, or unhealed wounds that caused the arguments in the first place.

That’s why divorce rarely feels like freedom — it just replaces one kind of pain with another.

The Better Question: How Can I Stop Feeling This Way Without Divorcing?

Before giving up, consider: have you really tried everything?
Most couples haven’t.

Traditional weekly therapy can feel slow and frustrating when you’re in crisis.
That’s why intensive marriage retreats — like the Getting the Love You Want Workshop — help couples compress months of therapy into a single weekend.

At our Marriage Intensives, couples rediscover safety, connection, and love — even when they thought they were completely done.

Why It’s Worth Trying to Save Your Marriage

If you can repair your relationship, you won’t just avoid the pain of divorce — you’ll rediscover the joy, safety, and partnership you once shared.

And even if your marriage doesn’t survive, you’ll walk away knowing you did everything possible — without regret.

Remember: your marriage didn’t break overnight.
It’s not going to heal overnight either.
But with the right process, it absolutely can heal.

Key Takeaways

• Divorce may bring relief, but rarely long-term peace.

• You’ll still have to navigate shared parenting, finances, and emotions.

• Trying to fix your marriage is the only way to know for sure whether it’s truly over.

• Marriage intensives and retreats can reignite love — even after years of distance.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q1. Is divorce worth it if I’m unhappy?
Not necessarily. Unhappiness often stems from unresolved emotional disconnection, not incompatibility. Many couples find that with structured, intensive therapy, they can rebuild their bond and rediscover joy.

Q2. What if I’ve fallen out of love with my spouse?
Love isn’t static — it changes form. The “falling out of love” feeling usually means disconnection, not the absence of love. Connection can be rebuilt with intention and communication.

Q3. Should I try marriage counseling before divorce?
Absolutely. It’s a chance to uncover what’s gone wrong and learn how to repair it. Many couples who were ready to divorce have completely transformed after attending an intensive retreat.

Q4. How do I know if my marriage is truly over?
If there’s still emotional reaction — frustration, sadness, even anger — there’s still connection. Indifference, not conflict, is usually the sign a marriage is dead.

Q5. What’s the best way to save my marriage fast?
A focused, immersive approach like a Private Marriage Intensive or Getting the Love You Want Workshop can create rapid change and renewed hope.

Next Steps

If you’re questioning whether divorce is worth it, you’re already searching for hope.

Start here:

• Take our free quiz: Should You Get a Divorce or Stay Married?

• Read How to Avoid Divorce Even When You Feel Done

• Explore our 5-Step Plan to Save Your Marriage

Don’t make a permanent decision about a temporary feeling.
Your marriage — and your peace — might still be worth saving.

About the Author

Written by Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, MS, LCPC, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Advanced Imago Relationship Therapist.
Founder of The Marriage Restoration Project, helping couples worldwide heal from infidelity, rebuild trust, and rediscover love.

Sources

1. Gottman Institute – Why Marriages Fail and How to Repair Them

2. Hendrix, H. & Hunt, H. L. (2019). Getting the Love You Want

3. The Marriage Restoration Project – 5-Step Plan to Save Your Marriage