In our recent podcast on the topic of Adult Children of Divorce, Rivka shared that she feels that she is showing up as mom and as wife with an inherent lack of skills and resources.
More inspiration for adult children of divorce:
- Let all your relationships become healthy ones
- A letter to Angelina Jolie: Before you end your marriage permanently…
- Will my parents mistakes affect me when I’m older?
Shlomo validated her feelings and acknowledged that divorce certainly does has an effect on grown up children of divorce, making it more difficult for these adult children of divorce to be a spouse and a parent.
On the other hand, he shared that for a couple where one of the partners are indeed an adult child of divorce, the positive effect of the impact of divorce may be that the couple is that much more motivated to make their own marriage work, moreso than of another couple!
The downside is, that this couple is so familiar with divorce that it may be less of a “taboo” for it being an option to exit the relationship. He/she saw their own parents leave, so in one sense, that adult child of divorce may be less committed when the going gets tough.
Every divorce is different; the messier the divorce, the worse the effect is or was on the grown up child.
Whatever your case may be, marriage is a vehicle for growth and healing, and you are not “damned” because of your past. You will need to put in serious work though to make your relationship successful.
If you are an adult child of divorce, you are even in more need of support and skills for you to learn how to be married and connected to your spouse without feeling threatened by all the baggage from the past. The best way to do that is with our 2 Day Private Marriage Restoration Retreat which will give you the plan for how to achieve success in all of your relationships! Talk with us today about our private 2 Day Marriage Restoration Retreat. You owe it to your family to learn these important skills for being in your marriage.