A Friend Meddling in a Marriage can be very Harmful.

More inspiration for protecting your marriage from a meddling friend:

For years I struggled with a woman my wife befriended. The couple was nice and our oldest boys were best friends. I considered the couple to be friends. However, there seemed to be a consistent negative feedback whenever the ladies spent time.The other woman’s ‘credentials’ as a therapist were not university gained. Her advice was almost universally pro my wife and everything wrong with me. Without ever having a conversation with me. She never gained my side of the story only to give pro-wife and anti-marital advice.

Your book has helped me to see the energy leak and possibly understand it.Since this is my wife’s best friend (I have definitely been excluded for this title)I’m not certain how to plug this particular leak. Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thank you for your email. I am glad you found the book helpful. Unfortunately, your situation is all too common. It’s hard to plug someone else’s leak when they may not be willing to. I would do your best to try to spend more quality time together with your wife and keep the energy in the relationship, at least from your end.

When you are upset, try to be able to deal with the issues directly.

If you were both to learn the dialogue process, that would be great.

When couples deal with issues together instead of finding friends, therapists, or other activities to distract themselves with, they are able to close the leaks. It may take time and you may reach a point where you can have an open an honest discussion about this “best friend” without your wife getting defensive.

I almost always know that there is “infidelity” (whether an actual affair or an energy leak) happening when there is absolutely no interest in working on the relationship. I often am prompted to ask in such a case if there is an affair. If there isn’t, there is usually a therapist or another “advice-giver” involved. I can always hear when there is the voice or influence of another. It is particularly sad because the relationship is usually salvageable.

If a friend is meddling in your marriage and your marriage is in crisis, please talk with us about our 2 Day Marriage Restoration Retreat. It’s important that you establish deep connection so that you can withstand all of the outside pressures and influences and become a couple that is together for life- that’s why you picked each other after all, isn’t it?


There’s nothing quite like the power of gaining clarity on a confusing situation. Complete the form below to talk with Rabbi Slatkin to see what he thinks would be best for you and your unique situation.

  • Hidden
  • Hidden
    You will receive our free 60 Second Plan to a Happy Marriage, along with transformational emails that will help you with your marriage.

Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online. Contact info@themarriagerestorationproject.com or