Sometimes it’s helpful to take stock of your marriage and see where there is room for improvement and/or to give yourself a pat on the back for learning to create healthy relationships.
5 Signs of a Healthy Marriage (And How to Strengthen Yours)
Sometimes it’s helpful to pause and take stock of your marriage. Where are you thriving? Where is there room for growth? A quick check-in can give you a pat on the back for what you’re doing well—and highlight areas you can improve to keep your relationship strong.
Below are five clear signs of a healthy marriage. If these resonate with you, celebrate! If not, use them as guideposts to help you build a stronger, more connected relationship.
1. You Speak Respectfully to Each Other
Healthy couples honor one another with their words. That means avoiding put-downs, yelling, or sarcastic tones. When hurt, they share their feelings without blame or shame—owning their emotions and making sure their spouse is ready to listen.
Research shows that communication marked by respect and validation predicts greater relationship satisfaction and stability over time¹.
They also protect the marriage outside the home by avoiding “trash talk” with friends or family, knowing it damages trust.
2. You Put Your Marriage First
It’s easy to let work, kids, or hobbies take priority. But healthy couples know their marriage is the foundation for everything else. When the relationship thrives:
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The home feels more peaceful
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Kids feel more secure
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You model healthy love for the next generation
Family research consistently finds that couples who prioritize their partnership create more stable homes and stronger child outcomes².
3. You Think About Each Other Daily
Healthy spouses carry each other in mind throughout the day. Whether it’s picking up a favorite snack at the store, calling to check in, or planning a thoughtful dinner, these small acts of consideration show care and create connection.
Psychologists call this “attunement”—noticing and responding to your partner’s needs—and it’s a key predictor of marital satisfaction³.
4. You Don’t Keep Score
Unconditional love is the hallmark of a healthy marriage. Instead of tallying who did more or who made the last sacrifice, healthy couples give because they want to.
They forgive quickly, work through challenges together, and don’t hold mistakes over each other indefinitely. Forgiveness and generosity replace scorekeeping and resentment. Studies show that couples who practice forgiveness report higher levels of long-term marital satisfaction⁴.
5. You See Your Relationship as a Safe Space
At the end of a hard day, healthy couples know they can turn to each other for comfort. Their marriage is a safe space—where they can share honestly, feel heard without judgment, and receive support with compassion.
This sense of emotional safety is critical: couples who feel secure with each other show stronger intimacy, trust, and resilience under stress⁵.
When Was Your Last Relationship Check-Up?
If you recognize these five signs in your marriage, keep nurturing them—they’re the foundation of lasting love. If your relationship could be healthier, use these traits as goals to work toward.
Remember: a healthy marriage doesn’t just happen. It’s created daily through respect, prioritization, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, and safety.
Key Takeaways
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Healthy marriages are built on respectful communication, prioritizing the relationship, daily thoughtfulness, forgiveness, and emotional safety.
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Small, consistent actions matter more than grand gestures.
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You don’t need to be perfect—just intentional about how you show up for each other.
Sources
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Gottman, J., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
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Fowers, B. J., & Owenz, M. B. (2010). A eudaimonic theory of marital quality. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 2(4), 334–352.
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Johnson, S. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Little, Brown Spark.
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Fincham, F. D., & Beach, S. R. H. (2002). Forgiveness in marriage: Implications for psychological aggression and constructive communication. Personal Relationships, 9(3), 239–251.
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Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in Adulthood: Structure, Dynamics, and Change. Guilford Press.
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