How can I tell if my wife really wants a divorce? Below is a question submitted by a genuinely confused husband who wants to enjoy all of the holiday season moments with his wife and children but his wife’s anxiety from all the to-do’s overwhelm her to the point that she threatens divorce.

More inspiration on holiday stress and threats of divorce:

“I don’t understand why the holidays are so stressful for my wife. I enjoy getting together with family and getting gifts for the kids. Maybe it’s just me but she’s panicking and telling me she wants a divorce because she’s tired of doing everything for everybody. Should I take her seriously or chalk it up to holiday stress?” -How can I tell if my wife wants divorce

Our answer: It sounds like your wife is experiencing a lot of anxiety about the holidays. I’m wondering if this is a familiar feeling for her. While I’m sure it’s scary for you to see her react this way and threaten divorce, do your best now to validate her feelings and know that after the holidays are over, it would be important to have a discussion together about the relationship. If she is under stress, work on being the best husband possible and figure out ways that you can help her get through this time. When things calm down you will be able to process the state of your relationship and figure out how to move forward together.

If you would like to begin sharpening your skills and learning how to become a better husband to your wife, we suggest you watch our No Blame No Shame communication marriage video training here at this link. It’s always a good idea to improve your communication skills and in general, to live by taking responsibility for your role as much as possible.



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Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online. Contact or