By Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, LCPC — Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Founder of The Marriage Restoration Project
Infidelity can shatter trust, security, and intimacy at the core of a relationship. For many couples, the aftermath feels overwhelming—how do you rebuild when the foundation itself feels broken? An affair recovery bootcamp offers an intensive, structured approach that helps couples heal in days or weeks, rather than months or years of weekly counseling.
As licensed marriage therapists with over two decades of experience working exclusively with couples in crisis, we have seen firsthand how an intensive model can restore hope even when partners feel hopeless¹.
What Is an Affair Recovery Bootcamp?
An affair recovery bootcamp is a focused therapeutic intensive designed to help couples navigate the shock, pain, and rupture caused by infidelity. Instead of meeting for 50-minute sessions once a week, couples spend two to three consecutive days immersed in guided therapy.
The goal is to address the trauma of betrayal, create emotional safety, unpack the story of the affair with honesty and accountability, and begin rebuilding trust and intimacy. This approach has been studied in clinical settings and found to provide comparable or better outcomes than traditional weekly therapy².
Testimonial: “We had been stuck in the same painful fight for months after the affair. The bootcamp gave us a breakthrough in just two days that weekly therapy never could.” – A & J, Maryland
Why Choose a Bootcamp Over Traditional Counseling?
Traditional weekly therapy often falls short in affair recovery because the crisis is too overwhelming. Partners remain stuck in cycles of anger, shame, or avoidance between sessions³.
In contrast, marriage counseling for infidelity by way of an intensive format allows couples to accelerate healing by staying in the process until breakthroughs occur, reduce re-traumatization from unresolved disclosures spread out over weeks, and develop actionable repair strategies that can be continued at home. Studies on intensive couples therapy show significant improvements in trust rebuilding, relationship satisfaction, and trauma reduction⁴.
Testimonial: “We were skeptical about doing two full days, but it changed everything. For the first time, I felt my partner truly understood my pain and was committed to rebuilding our marriage.” – R & M, New Jersey
The 3 Stages of Affair Recovery in Bootcamp
Affair recovery is not linear, but most couples experience three broad phases⁵:
- Crisis & Stabilization – Shock, hypervigilance, and intrusive thoughts dominate. The betrayed partner needs safety and truth-telling.
- Accountability & Meaning-Making – The unfaithful partner takes ownership and demonstrates remorse while both partners explore what led to the breakdown without excusing the betrayal.
- Rebuilding & Growth – Couples gradually re-establish trust through transparency practices, develop communication rituals, and create new intimacy.
An affair recovery bootcamp creates space for couples to move through all three stages within a concentrated period, reducing the risk of getting stuck in pain.
What to Expect in an Affair Recovery Bootcamp
A well-structured bootcamp provides both emotional repair and practical tools. Couples learn how to manage betrayal trauma, which can resemble PTSD with flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and hypervigilance⁶. They establish transparency practices such as structured check-ins or shared agreements, gain safe communication tools that allow difficult conversations without escalation, explore forgiveness pathways, and build relapse-prevention plans to avoid repeated betrayal.
Testimonial: “I walked in wanting to leave the marriage. I walked out with hope, tools, and a vision for the future that felt possible.” – K & S, New York
Who Is This For?
This intensive model is best for couples who want to stay together but feel lost on how to move forward, are struggling with repetitive fights about the affair, feel their weekly sessions are too slow or surface-level, or need a structured process with a trained facilitator guiding every step. Even couples who are undecided about staying together may benefit, leaving with clarity about their next steps.
Not ready to commit yet? Start with our getting over an affair guide for immediate next steps; then return when you’re ready to concentrate the work. Is a weekend intensive even worth it after an affair?
What Results Can You Expect?
When couples commit to the process, the results can be transformative. Many experience faster relief from emotional chaos, a shared understanding of the betrayal, practical agreements for transparency and accountability, and a roadmap to rebuild intimacy. For some, the bootcamp provides clarity on whether to continue or part ways respectfully. Clinical trials on affair recovery interventions show many couples emerge with higher relationship satisfaction than before the affair⁷.
Testimonial: “This was our last chance. We’re not just surviving anymore—we’re actually enjoying each other again. The bootcamp saved our marriage.” – T & L, Virginia
Not sure if the weekend is right? See weekly vs. bootcamp side by side.
Frequently Asked Questions About Affair Recovery Bootcamp
1. What is an Affair Recovery Bootcamp?
An Affair Recovery Bootcamp is a private, therapist-led intensive designed to help couples heal from infidelity in days, not months. Instead of weekly 50-minute sessions, you spend two to three full days in immersive work that focuses on truth-telling, accountability, and rebuilding trust.
2. How is it different from regular marriage counseling for infidelity?
Weekly therapy often leaves couples re-triggered between sessions. The bootcamp model keeps you in the process long enough to reach breakthroughs and emotional stability before returning home. It’s structured, focused, and designed for lasting transformation rather than slow symptom relief.
3. Can an Affair Recovery Bootcamp really save a marriage after cheating?
Many couples who felt hopeless find that an intensive gives them the breakthrough they couldn’t achieve in months of counseling. While no therapist can guarantee a specific outcome, research shows that structured, time-limited intensives lead to measurable gains in trust and satisfaction.
4. What if my partner doesn’t want to attend?
It’s common for one partner to hesitate. We recommend booking a brief consultation to discuss what the bootcamp involves. Often, understanding that it’s not about blame but rebuilding safety helps reduce resistance and open the door to participation.
5. Is this only for couples who plan to stay together?
No. Even couples who are unsure benefit from the process. Some decide to rebuild, others gain closure and peace of mind. Either way, you’ll leave with clarity, emotional stability, and concrete next steps.
6. Can we do the bootcamp online?
Yes. Many couples complete the Affair Recovery Bootcamp virtually via secure video sessions. Our online format mirrors the in-person experience, offering the same level of connection, guidance, and confidentiality.
7. When is the best time to attend after an affair?
As soon as you can emotionally engage with the process. Some couples come within days of discovery; others wait until the initial crisis stabilizes. The intensive is designed to meet you where you are—whether you’re in acute pain or ready to rebuild.
8. What will we actually do during the bootcamp?
You’ll unpack the story of the affair safely, understand the root causes of disconnection, and learn how to manage triggers and rebuild emotional safety. The therapist guides you through structured conversations, forgiveness work, and personalized plans for transparency and accountability.
9. How much does an Affair Recovery Bootcamp cost?
Fees vary depending on whether the bootcamp is private, virtual, or in person. Because you’re working directly with a licensed marriage therapist for multiple full-day sessions, the investment is higher than standard therapy—but the accelerated healing often saves months of emotional pain and ongoing fees.
10. Is the program covered by insurance?
Most insurance plans do not cover therapy intensives, but many clients use out-of-network benefits or HSA/FSA funds. We’re happy to provide documentation you can submit to your insurer.
11. What kind of results can we expect?
Couples often leave with relief from emotional chaos, renewed communication, and a clear roadmap to rebuild trust. Some describe feeling closer than before the affair. Even when reconciliation isn’t the outcome, both partners gain healing and closure.
12. Who facilitates the bootcamp?
All intensives are led by licensed marriage therapists who specialize exclusively in couples and infidelity recovery. With over 20 years of experience, our approach combines evidence-based methods with the safety and structure couples in crisis need.
13. Can we attend if we live outside Maryland?
Yes. Couples fly in from all over the U.S. (and abroad) to participate. We also have many locations across the US closest to your location that you can visit. Virtual options are available for those who prefer not to travel, ensuring accessibility wherever you are.
Key Takeaways
- An affair recovery bootcamp is an intensive therapy model for healing after infidelity.
- Intensives allow for sustained focus and quicker stabilization compared to weekly counseling.
- Couples move through three phases: stabilization, accountability, and rebuilding.
- Bootcamps combine emotional healing with practical trust-building tools.
- Many couples experience not just recovery, but post-crisis growth.
If discovery was recent, this first-72-hours plan will help you stabilize before your intensive.
Key Takeaways
- An affair recovery bootcamp is an intensive therapy model for healing after infidelity.
- Intensives allow for sustained focus and quicker stabilization.
- Couples move through three phases: stabilization, accountability, and rebuilding.
- Bootcamps combine emotional healing with practical trust-building tools.
- Many couples experience not just recovery, but post-crisis growth.
Sources
Atkins, D. C., et al. (2005). Outcome of Couples Therapy for Infidelity: Findings from a Randomized Clinical Trial. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology.
Baucom, D. H., Snyder, D. K., & Gordon, K. C. (2009). Helping Couples Get Past the Affair: A Clinician’s Guide. Guilford Press.
Snyder, D. K., et al. (2004). Treating Infidelity: An Integrative Approach to Promoting Recovery. Journal of Clinical Psychology.
Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2004). An integrative intervention for promoting recovery from extramarital affairs. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
Lebow, J., Chambers, A. L., Christensen, A., & Johnson, S. (2012). Research on the Treatment of Couple Distress. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
Finkel, E. J., et al. (2012). The Psychology of Close Relationships: Trauma and Trust. Annual Review of Psychology.
Gordon, K. C., & Baucom, D. H. (1999). Understanding betrayals in marriage: A synthesized model of forgiveness. Family Process.
