You’ll read below that one of the most important ways to heal and come back together after a temporary separation is to infuse your relationship with positivity and love again. We’re going to provide you with inspiration for how to do just that.

More inspiration for reuniting:

Question: My husband moved back home after a long temporary separation and now we are falling apart again. I just can’t leave the past in the past. We have both made some serious mistakes and decided to try again but due to a breakdown on my part which I felt was well deserved he now is sleeping on the couch for the last week, wants nothing to do with me, says I annoy him. He says he has given up and has no faith in me. He won’t talk about our relationship at all. But it is consuming me, it is all I think about. Do I just leave it alone and hope it gets better? We have been married for 17 years and have 3 children together. There is a lot at stake here. I have vowed to leave the past in the past, I know that I have to forgive him if I want this to work. But what do I do for right now, his alienation is killing me. I feel so lost and confused, I just want my family back.

How to regroup and reconnect after a temporary separation

Coming back together after a temporary separation often can be so overwhelming. You mentioned having a breakdown and that you felt it was “justified”. What does that mean? Whatever it was that you did, how do you think that could be pushing him away?

Pressuring him might turn him the other way, and while it can be good to give him his space, you’ll want to start figuring out ways to show him that you care and that you really want to be in relationship.

A relationship can change and transform if you’re willing to commit to it. You mentioned that you have a lot at stake, and that alone is worth committing to make this relationship work, if not for you than for the sake of the children.

Find ways to love him again. Think about what made you fall in love in the first place, spend your time focusing on having positive experiences as opposed to negative ones.

Take some time to put positive energy back into your relationship and you may even want to take a breather from talking about your long time complaints.

After a temporary separation, you have a chance to start fresh in a way, so adding positivity to your relationship as often as possible as opposed to dredging up all of the old negativity, is a good idea.

There’s a book you may want to consider reading called How to Improve your Marriage without Talking About It, by Dr. Patricia Love which can help you to be able to focus positively on your relationship.

If you feel that you need in-person help with reuniting and not dredging up the past, the best way to do this would be to attend a 2 day private marriage retreat. They are the best way to reconnect especially after a separation and restore the connection that was lost long ago. You can contact us here to find out more information and to schedule a time to speak with us.



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Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online. Contact or