If you’ve ever wondered whether men or women are more likely to leave a relationship first, the research is pretty clear: women are more likely to initiate breakups and divorce.
Studies show women initiate about two-thirds of divorces (Braver, Whitley, & Ng, 1994). But why? Let’s break down the main reasons.
1. Women Are More Sensitive to Relationship Problems
Research suggests men are less likely to notice or be bothered by relationship strain.
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Men’s perspective: If their basic needs (meals, sex, companionship) are met, they may not see problems as urgent.
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Women’s perspective: Women are often more attuned to emotional disconnection and unresolved conflict. If they don’t feel heard or see their partner willing to change, they are more likely to feel disturbed and take action.
This gap in perception can leave women feeling hopeless about improvement—leading them to leave first.
2. Men Are More Emotionally Dependent on Their Partner
Women usually have multiple sources of emotional support (friends, sisters, mothers, support groups). Men, on the other hand, often rely primarily on their wives or partners.
That means:
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Even in unhappy marriages, men may stay because leaving feels emotionally riskier.
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Women, having other outlets, may find it easier to walk away if the relationship isn’t working.
3. Men Fear Change More Than Women
No one loves change, but research shows it can be harder for men.
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Many men value stability and routine. A bad relationship that feels familiar can seem safer than the unknown.
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In traditional marriages, men may fear losing practical support—childcare, meals, household organization.
Because of this, men may stay in unhappy marriages longer, while women are more likely to push for change—even if it means leaving.
Why Men Struggle More After Divorce
Interestingly, studies show men often have a harder time coping after divorce than women. Relationships are correlated with better physical and emotional health for men than living alone.
Women, while not immune to the challenges of divorce, often experience relief if they initiated the separation—because they felt leaving was in their best interest.
The Truth: Leaving Isn’t Always the Answer
While women are more likely to leave, it’s worth noting: ending a relationship may only provide temporary relief.
Lasting fulfillment comes from addressing the root issues—whether that’s through therapy, honest communication, or structured programs like marriage intensives.
Sometimes, it’s not about leaving the relationship, but about transforming it.
FAQ: Who Leaves Relationships More Often?
Do women really initiate most divorces?
Yes. Studies consistently show women initiate 60–70% of divorces.
Why do women leave unhappy relationships more often?
They tend to be more sensitive to relationship problems, less willing to tolerate ongoing conflict, and more likely to seek change.
Why don’t men leave unhappy marriages as often?
Men are often more emotionally dependent on their wives, fear change, and may be less attuned to relationship distress.
Who struggles more after divorce, men or women?
On average, men struggle more with emotional adjustment and health outcomes, while women may feel temporary relief if they initiated the breakup.
Key Takeaways
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Women initiate about two-thirds of divorces.
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Men are often less sensitive to relationship problems, while women feel conflict more acutely.
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Men tend to rely more on their partners for emotional support and resist major life changes.
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Men often struggle more after divorce, while women may feel relief if they were the ones to leave.
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Leaving a bad relationship provides only short-term relief—the deeper solution is healing and growth.
Sources
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Braver, S. L., Whitley, M., & Ng, C. (1994). Who Divorces Whom? Methodological and Theoretical Issues. Journal of Divorce & Remarriage, 20(1–2), 1–20.
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Amato, P. R. (2000). The Consequences of Divorce for Adults and Children. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(4), 1269–1287.
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Kalmijn, M., & Poortman, A.-R. (2006). His or Her Divorce? The Gendered Nature of Divorce and Its Determinants. European Sociological Review, 22(2), 201–214.
