What Percentage of Marriages Survive Infidelity? (And What Changes the Odds)

By: Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, LCPC — Certified Imago Relationship Therapist (couples-only practice)
Two decades working exclusively with couples after betrayal; advanced training in Imago, program refined with thousands of couples.

The short answer

There isn’t one “true” survival number. Short-term estimates in popular summaries range roughly 45–75% of couples staying together after discovery, but methods vary and often don’t track five-year outcomes.¹ In more rigorous clinical follow-ups, the quality of disclosure and ongoing secrecy strongly predict the odds: in one five-year study of couples in therapy, divorce rates were ~80% when the affair remained secret vs ~43% when it was revealed, and ~23% for couples without infidelity.² Secrecy tanks the odds; structured, honest work improves them.² ³

What “survive” really means (and why definitions matter)

“Survive” can mean “not divorced,” “still together at one year,” or “recovered and satisfied.” Those are very different outcomes. A couple can remain married but feel stuck, or they can rebuild trust and feel secure again. The best research separates relationship status from relationship quality—and finds that couples who fully disclose and work a structured plan can return to comparable stability and satisfaction as non-infidelity couples who also stayed together.² ³ (That’s a strong case for doing this with a clear model rather than white-knuckling it alone.)

Three factors that move the odds

1. Disclosure vs. secrecy
   When the affair is revealed and processed in therapy, long-term separation/divorce rates are lower than when the affair stays secret.² Secrecy fuels “trickle truth,” retraumatizes the betrayed partner, and resets healing.⁴ If you need a safer container for disclosure, see our 2-Day Affair Recovery Bootcamp (with eight 90-minute follow-ups).
2. Using a structured model
   Evidence-based couples therapies (e.g., IBCT, EFT) and affair-specific protocols improve outcomes when couples engage them—especially when the affair is disclosed early and the work is focused.³ ⁵ ⁴ Disclosure timing matters: couples who revealed the affair before/during therapy showed greater improvement than non-infidelity couples starting treatment.³ Best therapy for infidelity?
3. Context & stressors
   Infidelity is a common turning point listed among reasons for divorce, but not the only one; high conflict, avoidance, and lack of repair also weigh heavily.⁶ Stronger pre-affair relationships and consistent repair behaviors predict better recovery.⁷ Is marriage counseling worth it after infidelity?

So…what percentage of marriages survive infidelity?

• Short-term (varies by source): Many summaries report ~45–75% of couples stay together after discovery. Treat these as broad ranges, not hard facts, because most are not five-year clinical follow-ups.¹
• Five-year (couples in therapy): In one longitudinal sample, divorce/separation was ~80% with secret affairs, ~43% with revealed affairs, and ~23% with no affair.² The headline isn’t a single number; it’s which path you choose—honest disclosure + structured work vs secrecy or unstructured attempts.

What improves your odds in the first 90 days

• A contained, therapist-guided disclosure (no more drips of new information).⁴
• Daily repair & connection rituals (aim for a strong positives-to-negatives ratio).
• De-escalation skills (Imago mirroring; EFT bonding; IBCT time-outs & re-entry).³ ⁵
• Follow-through (our model builds in eight 90-minute follow-ups so new habits stick).

Should we try to stay together?

If there’s ongoing secrecy, active addiction, or any safety concerns, stabilize first. If both partners are willing to be accountable and to practice new skills, research-based counseling gives you real odds to recover—often faster with a 2-day intensive + follow-ups than with weekly therapy alone.³ ⁵ Compare formats:

Key Takeaways

• There is no single, universal “survival rate.” Short-term stay-together estimates cluster around ~45–75%, but five-year outcomes depend heavily on disclosure and structure.¹ ²
• In a five-year clinical follow-up, secret affairs had ~80% divorce vs ~43% when revealed in treatment; non-infidelity couples ~23%.²
• Early, structured disclosure and evidence-based therapy (IBCT/EFT + affair-specific protocols) improve the odds; going it alone or maintaining secrecy worsens them.³ ⁴ ⁵
• If you want a faster, contained route with built-in follow-through, consider our 2-Day Affair Recovery Bootcamp + eight 90-minute follow-ups.

Sources

1. Round-ups & consumer summaries citing broad “stay-together” ranges (e.g., ~45–75%); treat as short-term estimates, not five-year clinical outcomes. Marriage.com
2. Marín, R. A., Christensen, A., & Atkins, D. C. (2014). Infidelity and behavioral couple therapy: Relationship outcomes over 5 years following therapy. Couple and Family Psychology: Research and Practice, 3, 1–12. (Five-year data: 80% divorce with secret affairs; 43% when revealed; 23% non-infidelity.) ResearchGateIBCT
3. Atkins, D. C., Eldridge, K. A., Baucom, D. H., & Christensen, A. (2005). Infidelity and behavioral couple therapy: Optimism in the face of betrayal. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 73, 144–150. (Revealed-affair couples showed greater improvement than non-infidelity couples.) PubMed
4. Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2004). An integrative intervention for promoting recovery from extramarital affairs. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 30, 213–231. (Structured disclosure/affair-specific protocol.) PubMedWiley Online Library
5. IBCT/EFT evidence base — Overviews and meta-summaries of validated couple-therapy approaches used in recovery. PMC
6. Scott, S. B., et al. (2013). Reasons for divorce and recollections of premarital prevention. Couple & Family Psychology, 2(2), 131–145. (Infidelity cited as a critical turning point.) PMC
7. Consumer-oriented synthesis noting moderators (e.g., pre-affair strength, kids, commitment); useful for context, not definitive prevalence. ChoosingTherapy.com