When couples search for a weekend retreat, they’re often at a crossroads — wondering if this might be the turning point that saves their relationship. The challenge? Not all couples therapy weekends are created equal.
Some focus on education and group discussion, others on private, intensive therapy sessions. The best fit depends on your specific relationship needs, your comfort level, and your goals. Drawing on my years of running marriage intensives and Imago Relationship Therapy retreats, here’s how to decide which type of weekend is right for you.
Why the Format Matters
Research consistently shows that intensive formats — where couples work for many hours over one to three days — can lead to faster and more lasting breakthroughs than weekly therapy, particularly for couples in high distress1. That’s because concentrated time allows partners to dig into root issues without the start-and-stop pattern of weekly sessions2.
However, different weekend models offer different benefits:
Best Couples Therapy Weekend Options For Your Situation
- Private Intensives: One couple working with one therapist for the entire weekend. Best for urgent issues, affairs, or situations where privacy is key.
- Group Educational Retreats: Several couples learning relationship skills together in a workshop setting. Best for couples looking to strengthen skills and connect in a community.
- Hybrid Models: Some private therapy plus group learning. Best for those who want both personalized work and shared learning.
Rabbi Shlomo’s Professional Insight
In my own work, I’ve found that couples who are in crisis — for example, after infidelity, separation threats, or years of unresolved conflict — often need private marriage intensives. The uninterrupted focus allows us to go deep into communication, repair trust, and address past wounds without distraction.
Couples who are stable but feeling disconnected often thrive in group workshops, where they can learn new skills, see healthy patterns modeled, and feel encouraged by others on the same journey.
Hybrid formats work well for couples who want the skills and community of a workshop but also need to tackle one or two sensitive issues privately.
Quick Self-Assessment: Which Weekend Fits You Best?
Answer these questions honestly to see which type of weekend might suit you.
1. How urgent are your concerns?
- My marriage feels like it’s in crisis. (Private Intensive)
- We’re not in crisis, but we need help reconnecting. (Workshop or Hybrid)
2. How comfortable are you sharing personal details in front of others?
- Not comfortable at all. (Private Intensive)
- Somewhat comfortable if it helps us learn. (Hybrid)
- Very comfortable. (Workshop)
3. What’s your main goal?
- Resolve deep, long-standing pain or betrayal. (Private Intensive)
- Learn new communication skills and rekindle closeness. (Workshop)
- A mix of both. (Hybrid)
4. How do you want to spend your weekend?
- Fully focused on our relationship, just us and a therapist. (Private Intensive)
- Learning alongside other couples, practicing in a group setting. (Workshop)
- Both private work and group learning. (Hybrid)
Scoring:
- Mostly “Private Intensive” answers → Book a Private Marriage Intensive.
- Mostly “Workshop” answers → Choose a Group Couples Workshop.
- Mixed answers → Consider a Hybrid Weekend.
How to Evaluate Your Options
No matter which format you choose, research suggests looking for the following:
- Specialized Training: Your therapist should have advanced training in couples therapy methods with proven effectiveness, such as Imago Relationship Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), or the Gottman Method3.
- Experience Level: Choose a facilitator who works primarily with couples, not one who occasionally sees them.
- Post-Retreat Plan: Ask how the weekend’s progress will be supported afterward — through follow-up sessions, homework, or ongoing coaching.
Key Takeaways
- There’s no one-size-fits-all answer to “What couples therapy weekend should I go to?” — the best choice depends on urgency, comfort with group work, and your relationship goals.
- Private marriage intensives are ideal for urgent, high-conflict situations or when privacy is essential.
- Group workshops are best for skill-building and reconnection in a supportive environment.
- Hybrid weekends offer a balance of privacy and community learning.
- Always choose a program led by a highly trained couples therapist, with a plan for sustaining progress after the weekend.
Sources
- Baucom, B. R., Atkins, D. C., & Christensen, A. (2015). Intensive behavioral couple therapy: A comparison of couple therapy delivered weekly versus daily. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 83(4), 547–558. ↩
- Johnson, S. M. (2019). The Practice of Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy: Creating Connection (3rd ed.). Routledge. ↩
- Lebow, J., Chambers, A. L., Christensen, A., & Johnson, S. M. (2012). Research on the treatment of couple distress. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 38(1), 145–168. ↩
