Feeling disconnected from your spouse can be disheartening—especially when love still lingers. If you’re thinking, “I love my spouse, but I’m not happy anymore,” you’re not alone. Many couples quietly carry the weight of emotional distance, wondering if true connection is still possible.
The good news? It is.
Unhappiness in marriage doesn’t have to be the end. With intentional effort and the right tools, couples can move from disconnection to healing—even if things feel hopeless right now. At The Marriage Restoration Project, we’ve seen it happen time and time again through Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin’s approach to relationship repair.
1. Acknowledge the Reality
Healing begins with honesty. Denying your unhappiness won’t make it go away—it only pushes it underground. Take a moment to reflect:
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What’s really not working?
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What do you long for in your marriage?
Rabbi Shlomo often tells couples, “The pain you’re feeling is not a sign that the relationship is broken—it’s a sign that something wants to be healed.” When we acknowledge what’s real, we make space for what’s possible.
2. Recommit to the Relationship
At the heart of Rabbi Shlomo’s work is a radical concept: Commitment is not about staying stuck, it’s about staying present. When couples are willing to stand still together and say, “We’re not giving up, even when it’s hard,” that commitment becomes the soil where change can take root.
According to divorce research, a lack of commitment is cited as the number one reason marriages end. But recommitment doesn’t mean ignoring the problems—it means facing them together with open eyes.
3. Take Personal Responsibility
It’s tempting to blame your spouse for your unhappiness. But true healing starts when both partners ask, “How have I contributed to the dynamic between us?”
Rabbi Shlomo encourages each person to take ownership—not for the entire problem, but for their part in the dance. This is where his background in Imago Relationship Therapy comes in, inviting couples to shift from blame to curiosity, from criticism to compassion.
4. Relearn How to Talk to Each Other
One of the biggest challenges in an unhappy marriage is communication breakdown. You may feel like you’re speaking two different languages.
Rabbi Shlomo uses intentional dialogue—a structured, safe format for communication that teaches couples to:
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Mirror (repeat what they heard)
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Validate (acknowledge the other’s perspective)
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Empathize (tune into their partner’s emotional world)
This process isn’t just about being polite—it’s about retraining the nervous system to feel safe, seen, and heard again.
5. Create Shared Goals and Purpose
When couples come to one of our 2-day Marriage Retreats, we help them rediscover their shared vision. What brought you together in the first place? What values do you still share? Where do you want to go as a team?
Disconnection often stems from feeling like you’re living parallel lives. But when you work together toward shared goals—whether spiritual, financial, or emotional—you begin to feel like partners again.
6. Ask for Help Before It’s Too Late
Rabbi Shlomo often says, “If your tooth were infected, you wouldn’t wait until it fell out before going to the dentist.” The same goes for your marriage. You don’t have to wait until you’re hanging by a thread to get support.
Whether it’s through counseling, a private marriage retreat, or our online Marriage School, couples often find that what feels like a marriage problem is actually a communication problem that can be solved.
7. Nurture Yourself as Well
One of the most overlooked truths about marriage is this: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Rabbi Shlomo teaches that taking care of your own emotional, physical, and spiritual well-being is not selfish—it’s essential. A fulfilled, centered individual is better equipped to be present and loving in a relationship.
You Can Feel Connected Again
Being unhappy in your marriage doesn’t mean your love is gone. It means something is calling out to be restored.
Through Rabbi Shlomo’s approach—blending neuroscience, Imago therapy, spiritual insight, and deep emotional honesty—we’ve helped thousands of couples rediscover joy and safety in their relationship.
You don’t have to settle for survival. You can thrive again.
Ready to Begin?
Explore these resources or reach out to us directly to take the next step and learn more about our Private 2-Day Marriage Counseling Intensive Retreat or 5 Step Guided Journey Back to Love Online Program.
