For any couple who is in a romantic relationship and is considering marriage or already married, it’s important to take a moment to examine the health of the relationship itself. Are you feeling loved, supported and valued? Is your partner? Are there any aspects of your relationship that are in need of some assistance? How do you even determine the health and success of your relationship?
When thinking about these questions, it can be difficult to determine the right answers without considering the psychology behind relationships. One established relationship theory that has been gaining traction in recent decades is that of the ‘Five C’s’ of a successful marriage. This relationship idea involves looking at five key building blocks of any successful relationship, whether it’s a long-term friendship or a budding romantic relationship. These key components work together to establish a strong foundation for the relationship and will help lead to long-term success.
But what are the five key components of a successful relationship? Are there any insights within the ‘Five C’s’ that can help rebuild a stagnant marriage? If you’ve been asking yourself these questions and are curious to learn more, we’re happy to help. Keep reading to discover everything that you need to know about each of the ‘Five C’s’ that serve as building blocks to a successful relationship and partnership and the established theory behind them.
What are the Five C’s?
Before we go into a deep dive on the ‘Five C’s,’ it’s important to first take a closer look at the principles and foundation of what this relationship theory entails. First imagined in 1983 by the renowned Dan Heller, this relationship theory revolves around the idea that there are five essential components that are present within any successful relationship: commitment, communication, compatibility, care, and compromise. Without even one of these elements, relationships, whether romantic or a simple friendship, can feel off and unbalanced, with a tendency to fail in the long term. Each of these five building blocks helps to create a lasting and successful relationship, playing a key role both alone and working in tandem.
Now that we’ve touched on the theory behind the ‘Five C’s,’ let’s dive into the nitty-gritty of what makes up each component. Keep reading for a quick look into each component.
Commitment
We’ll start things off with arguably one of the most important of the ‘Five C’s’ – commitment. This building block refers to the willingness to dedicate energy, effort and time into a relationship. This component can involve simply being together and also working together through difficult situations to overcome hurdles and keep a partnership moving forward. It’s important that both members of a relationship focus on investing time, energy, and effort into the relationship and continue to do so.
Communication
The next ‘C’ that we’d like to cover goes hand-in-hand with the first – communication. This component involves both talking and listening, with equal importance on each aspect. It’s vital to be able to honestly communicate thoughts and feelings to your relationship partner, and also to be able to actively listen and respond to your partner’s thoughts and feelings in return. Other crucial components of this piece include being respectful of your partner in how you communicate with them and working through conflict in a positive manner.
Care
A third key component of a successful relationship and marriage is that of care. This piece of the puzzle involves showing love and affection for your partner without any strings attached. Whether through small gestures of love such as buying their favorite dessert on a random night, cleaning up the kitchen after cooking a meal, or simply showing physical affection, this component is a crucial part of any relationship. Care involves being invested in the well-being of your partner and taking authentic steps towards ensuring their well-being, through both good times and bad.
Compatibility
Another important ‘C’ that will help build a successful marriage and relationship is that of compatibility. We’ve all heard the saying that “opposites attract.” However, there are some differences that can truly affect the success of a relationship and marriage. When thinking about compatibility with your partner or potential partner, it’s important to take a look at their goals, interests, and values to see if they are in line with yours. Some slight differences can be okay, but major differences may be harder to navigate, and you will likely need some professional assistance to ensure that they do not pull you apart. On the other hand, sharing commonalities in these areas will likely make it easier to build a better foundation for your relationship and lead to success in the future.
Compromise
A final key building block of a successful relationship and marriage is that of compromise. Unfortunately, couples will always reach some sort of disagreement or contention over different issues – it’s natural and happens to everyone! However, how we respond to these disagreements plays a key role in how successful our marriage actually is. This involves having compassion for our partner’s story when points of contention arise and listening to their perspective without shame or judgment. It’s not about ‘winning’ or beating out our partners – it’s about reaching a place where you don’t feel threatened by the differences anymore because you understand that their perspective is valid and so is yours, no longer needing to feel threatened by the difference of opinion. This will move mountains in your reactivity and ability to compromise, showing how much you truly value them.
Rebuild Your Relationship with the ‘Five C’s’
When considering what makes a successful relationship and marriage, there is no easy answer. Dedicated time, energy, and effort are all essential to success, but even success in these three areas can leave relationships falling short. One relationship theory around how to build a successful marriage is that of the ‘Five C’s.’ This theory involves five central building blocks that are key to determining success in any relationship: commitment, communication, care, compatibility, and compromise. By focusing on these areas, couples can effectively rebuild any relationship and set it up for success in the long term.
Are you ready to take the next step in restoring your marriage? We’re happy to help you get started, whether you’re interested in ongoing relationship therapy or a more in-depth marriage intensives program. Contact us to speak to one of our licensed marriage counselors, and we’ll be happy to guide you along the right path towards reinvigorating your partnership and strengthening your marriage.
