While the holiday season may bring about fond memories and happy times spent with friends and family, there are some situations that can cause insurmountable stress and despair, such as experiencing the turmoil of infidelity. This betrayal is often felt tenfold during the holiday season, which is meant to be a season of celebrating love and togetherness for friends and family alike. Each aspect of the holidays, whether a family gathering, presents under a Christmas tree or viewing holiday lights, can serve as a painful reminder of what once was and what has been lost to infidelity.
If you and your partner are going through the unfortunate process of surviving the holidays following the betrayal of an affair, it can be decidedly difficult to figure out what to do next. Do you forgive and forget or carry on like nothing is wrong? Should you avoid the situation and your spouse, electing to participate in holiday gatherings and get-togethers separately? If you’re feeling lost and anxious, trying to determine how to navigate the holiday season, we’re happy to help. We’ve put together a quick list of tips to help you survive the holidays following an affair. Keep reading to discover more.
Put Things on Hold
One thing that’s certain about the holidays – no matter how fun and memorable the holidays can be, they can also bring with them plenty of stress and anxiety. For couples who are coping with the betrayal of an affair, this stress can be experienced tenfold, as you attempt to navigate events and conversations with someone who has lost your trust.
To balance out the inherent anxiety that comes with the holiday season, you can work with your partner to put everything on hold for the time being. Whether that’s agreeing to speak more in detail about things following the hustle and bustle of the holidays or simply electing to shelf the conversation until you’re in a better place mentally, this process can actually provide the space that you need to make it through the holiday season. You may even find that you and your spouse will naturally become closer again as you experience the joy of the holiday season together, setting you up for a successful reconciliation when the time is right.
Keep Things Positive
When spending time with close friends and family, it can be very tempting to air dirty laundry and inform everyone of what is happening behind closed doors. While this may provide temporary relief, it will undoubtedly cause more harm in the long run than keeping things positive. This can negatively impact not only you and your spouse, but also any children and relatives around you who are exposed to the negativity that comes from publicly shaming your spouse.
Instead of spilling the story of infidelity to everyone you come across, keep things neutral and focus on the happiness and excitement of the season. You can also take a step back from the situation to cool off if things are becoming overwhelming, such as taking a quick walk outside or a moment for yourself in a safe, neutral space.
Hold Your Own Space
The holidays may be all about giving, but it’s important to remember to take care of yourself, too. While you may feel like you need to attend every event and put on a happy face, always remember that you need to keep your own wellbeing in mind, too. If you’re feeling too depressed to attend a neighborhood gathering, politely decline. If you don’t want to attend your partner’s work holiday party, there is no reason that you cannot say no. Protect your own mental space and wellbeing by being willing to say no when the occasion calls for it.
In addition to protecting your mental space, make sure that you’re taking time to care for yourself physically. Whether this is as simple as ensuring that you’re eating enough to getting to the gym for a quick workout to making certain that you’re sleeping, taking little steps to maintain your physical health can do wonders for your mental health and overall wellbeing, too.
Make New Memories
With any struggling relationship, resetting your mindset can be one way to overcome hurdles and forge new paths forward together. While you may feel the ache and hurt of betrayal, try taking the time to create new, happy memories with your spouse throughout the holiday season. This can help reestablish your relationship as something positive and beautiful, while providing opportunities to rebuild your bond and reestablish trust. Take a quick trip to that locally famous neighborhood and check out their lights display or stop by your favorite diner to partake in their tempting holiday specials. This is an especially successful method of navigating infidelity during the holidays for those couples with children, as it will create lasting, happy memories for all parties involved.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask For Help
Always remember – you don’t have to do this alone. For any couple experiencing the grief of infidelity during the holidays, it can be truly overwhelming. In this situation, a licensed marriage counselor or couples therapist might be the solution to easing your stress. These experienced professionals are well-versed in the ins-and-outs of relationships and will be able to help you navigate the turmoil of infidelity in the midst of the stress of the holiday season. Whether it’s with weekly one-on-one sessions with an Imago marriage therapist or a weekend couples therapy intensive, seeking out professional help is a great step towards rebuilding your marriage with a solid foundation for the future.
Healing from Infidelity During the Holidays
Even with the joy that the holiday season brings, there are some situations that can be truly overwhelming for couples, such as experiencing the turmoil of infidelity. This can be truly devastating for any relationship and is often felt tenfold during the holiday season. By putting things on hold for the holidays, protecting your own space, creating new memories and asking for help when you need it, you can set yourself up to successfully navigate this tricky territory and get back on the right path towards a stronger marriage.
