Marriage Counseling | Imago Couples Therapy | Marriage Restoration

Should You Check Your Husband’s Internet History? Navigating Digital Trust in Marriage

In this modern age of technology, it seems like we’re all attached to our devices, whether for work or for entertainment purposes. From spending time on social media on our phones to browsing endless shopping channels on our laptops to playing online games with friends on our favorite gaming systems, there are so many ways that we can be connected in this day and age. However, with this easy accessibility to technology and ability to communicate instantly with anyone anywhere in the world comes additional challenges, especially in marriages.

For partners who are digitally inclined and spend a lot of time on social media or various other platforms, there is a new, contemporary issue that can arise – digital mistrust. With such easy access to other individuals that are both known and new, it feels easy to fall into the trap of spending more time with someone else or emotionally cheating on a partner with someone online. And while this is just a mere possibility, it can cause some spouses to become suspicious of their partners purely due to the fact that they spend a lot of time online, even if they don’t show any other signs of cheating.

But how do you navigate this difficult age of digital interconnection with your partner? Is it ever okay to demand access to your significant other’s phone or internet browsing history? If you’re in a relationship and at a point where you think you should be checking your husband’s or wife’s internet history and not sure what to do next, we’re happy to help. Keep reading to discover our top tips and advice to navigate this tricky topic with your significant other.

The Truth About Checking Your Spouse’s Internet History

While you may be concerned about what they’re doing and who they’re talking to online, the unfortunate answer about this situation is that it can be highly problematic. No matter how devoted and involved your relationship is, simply bringing this topic up can cause hurt and confusion in a partner, especially if they’re not doing anything wrong.

Not only can this feel like a breach of trust, but it can also feel highly invasive for some partners. This action can cause erosion and damage to trust in any relationship, leaving the other partner questioning whether they can actually trust the accusing partner in return. In addition, every individual in a relationship is entitled to some privacy in what they do, even from their spouse. Demanding access to your partner’s internet history can feel like you are overstepping this privacy boundary and can, therefore, create more mistrust in the relationship.

How to Navigate Digital Trust in Your Relationship

Before you begin the journey of navigating digital trust in your marriage, it’s important to remember that you and your partner are a team. The doubt or mistrust that you may be feeling is not stemming from your partner – rather, it’s an issue that the two of you need to work together on overcoming. Keep this in mind throughout the process in order to keep you in the right mindset towards healing trust and rekindling your relationship.

After you reestablish this thought in your mind, you’re ready to take the next step. Rather than taking the step to demanding access to your partner’s internet browsing history, take a step back and look at the relationship holistically. Oftentimes, the thought that you need to snoop and review what your partner is doing online stems from a different, deeper issue in the relationship that you may not be addressing or aware of at all.

Examine how the relationship is as a whole and try to identify what the exact problem may be that is causing you to question what they’re doing online. Could it be that you’re not spending enough meaningful one-on-one time together? Or is it the case where your partner is spending more time socializing with friends than with you and you feel unvalued? No matter what the cause, just keep in mind that there is often a deeper issue at play when you feel the need to take a closer look at what your spouse is doing online.

Healing Through Communication: Rebuilding Trust and Strengthening Your Relationship

Once you take a step back from the situation and identify what the problem is within your relationship, it’s time to take steps to healing. This will involve opening up communication with your spouse, which can oftentimes feel daunting or challenging. Practice open communication in which you give clear, direct expressions of how you are feeling and what in the relationship is causing you to feel this way. Then, actively listen as your spouse responds and shares their own feelings about the situation at hand. You may find that they have some insights to what’s happening that you haven’t considered!

If opening up a discussion with your spouse feels like too much to handle or you feel that you are too far down the path of doubt, it might be time to call in the help of a professional. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a licensed marriage counselor or couples therapist to help navigate this tricky situation. With their experience and professional training, they’ll be able to help set you on the right path and support you throughout the process of identifying the issue at play and overcoming it together.

Trust in the Digital Age: Navigating Online Privacy and Relationship Security

In the modern digital age, it can be easy to fall into the trap of thinking that your partner may be up to something online. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that you should be able to demand access to your significant other’s internet history. In fact, doing so can actually breed mistrust and damage a relationship rather than ease suspicion or give the accusing partner a feeling of relief. This suspicion is often bred due to another, deeper issue in the relationship that needs immediate addressing. Instead of demanding access, focus on identifying this deeper issue, whether together with your partner or with the assistance of a licensed professional. Then, you can both move forward in rebuilding and rekindling your marriage together.

Picture of Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online.

Picture of Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online.

FEATURED IN

Get effective relationship help even if you’ve tried couples counseling before.
Name(Required)
Privacy*
*By using this form you agree with this site's privacy policy and consent to you submitted data being collected and stored. We take your privacy seriously, and will never spam you. - In addition, you are giving us permission to add you to our email list. You will receive our free 60 Second Plan to a Happy Marriage, along with transformational emails that will help you with your marriage.
This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

CONTACT US