When your marriage feels wobbly, the hardest part is deciding what to do first. Should you read a book, start a course, or go all-in on a retreat? Below is a simple path you can follow today—starting with our on-demand 5 Steps to a Happy Marriage Guided Journey Back to Love program—plus the exact books we recommend most often to clients because they’re practical, readable, and change-making.
More inspiration:
-
*Can relationship self-help books truly save your marriage?*¹
-
A review of our popular marriage self-help program²
-
The secret reason we wrote our marriage help book and self-help program³
Key Takeaways
-
Start now, not perfect. A targeted self-paced course gives you structure and momentum before (or alongside) therapy.²
-
Books still work—if you practice. The titles below teach skills you can apply the same day (mirroring, validation, love-language targeting).⁴⁻¹⁰
-
Stack your supports. Best outcomes come from course + workbook + (optional) coaching/retreat—learn, practice, then deepen.² ¹¹
-
No blame, no shame. Approaches like Imago help you talk safely about hard stuff without attacking or withdrawing.⁴ ⁶ ⁸ ¹¹
-
Know when to level up. If you stay stuck, move from self-help → guided course → 2-day intensive + aftercare for faster traction.¹¹
Your First Step: The 5 Step Self-Help Program
What you’ll get (on-demand):
-
Short, binge-able lessons (closed-captioned) that teach Imago-based dialogue, repair steps, and boundary setting.² ¹¹
-
Downloadable scripts & prompts so you know exactly what to say when emotions spike.
-
A 30-day practice plan (micro-habits you can actually keep).
-
Optional add-ons: live Q&A/coaching, and a bridge into a 2-day intensive if/when you’re ready.¹¹
Best for: motivated couples who want immediate tools and a private way to start.
Tip: Commit to 20 minutes/day for two weeks. The program is centered around our bestselling 5 Step Action Plan book and comes with audio/visual support to reinforce what you learn through a multisensory approach.
Our Favorite Relationship Self-Help Books (why we chose them)
-
Getting the Love You Want — Harville Hendrix, PhD⁴
Shift how you see conflict: from “problem partner” to pattern we can change. Foundation of Imago; core skills you’ll reuse forever. -
Receiving Love — Harville Hendrix, PhD & Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD⁵
If you find yourself not being able to receive love and sabotaging it even when good people try and love you- this book is for you to stop blocking what you say you want. -
How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It — Pat Love, EdD & Steven Stosny, PhD⁶
Gentle, gender-aware insights that reduce shame and reactivity; great for reluctant talkers. -
The 5 Love Languages — Gary Chapman, PhD⁷
A quick win: aim your effort where it counts. (Pair with a weekly “acts menu.”) -
Making Marriage Simple — Hendrix & Hunt⁸
Imago’s greatest hits in plain language; includes Zero Negativity Challenge to lower daily friction. -
Marriage Fitness — Mort Fertel⁹
Behavior-first approach with concrete daily actions that re-positivize the bond. -
The Five-Step Action Plan to a Happy & Healthy Marriage — Slatkin¹⁰
Your house style: No Blame, No Shame + a repeatable five-step roadmap we teach in sessions and our course.
How to use the list: pick one “talk skills” book (1, 5, or 7) and one “daily actions” book (6 or 4). Read alongside the the 5 Step DIY modules and practice in real time.
What to Do Next (simple pathway)
-
Week 1–2: Start the 5 Step Action Plan (Dialogues + De-escalation). Add Getting the Love You Want or Making Marriage Simple.
-
Week 3–4: Layer in 5 Love Languages or Marriage Fitness for daily positivity.
-
Week 5+: If you’re improving—keep going. If stuck, book a consult for a 2-day intensive + 6–8 aftercare sessions to lock in gains.¹¹
FAQ
Will a book or course really help if we’re in crisis?
Often, yes—if you practice daily. Books and our course give you a shared language and steps to stop the spiral. For betrayal, violence, or active addiction, you’ll likely need clinician support sooner.¹¹
How is your course different from reading the books?
We turn concepts into scripts, checklists, and reps—so you do the skill, not just understand it. Lessons build progressively and link directly to Imago tools used in our intensives.² ¹¹
What if my partner won’t participate?
Start solo. Many reluctant partners join once they see calm, clear changes (and that our framework is no-blame). Share one short lesson and invite them to try a 10-minute dialogue.
When should we consider a 2-day intensive?
If you can’t de-escalate at home, if old injuries keep hijacking talks, or you want faster repair, an intensive compresses months of work into days—and includes a written aftercare plan.¹¹
Do you guarantee results?
No ethical provider can. What we can promise: a safe structure, proven communication tools, and clear next steps. Clients commonly report calmer conflict and better repair within weeks when they practice.² ¹¹
By Shlomo Slatkin, LCPC, Co-Founder, The Marriage Restoration Project
Last reviewed: October 2025
About the clinician
Shlomo specializes in Imago-based intensives and follow-through care. Over 20 years, he’s helped thousands of couples rebuild trust, improve communication, and create safer connection through courses, retreats, and private 2-day intensives.¹¹
Scope & Safety
This guide is educational and not a substitute for individualized treatment. If there is ongoing violence, coercion, untreated severe mental illness, or active substance dependence, seek stabilization and safety planning first.
Evidence & Methods
Our approach integrates Imago dialogue, behavioral activation, and aftercare—methods with strong common-factor support in the couples literature.¹¹
Sources & Notes
-
Hendrix, H. (2008). Getting the Love You Want.
-
Hendrix, H., & Hunt, H. (2004). Receiving Love.
-
Love, P., & Stosny, S. (2007). How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It.
-
Chapman, G. (2015). The 5 Love Languages.
-
Hendrix, H., & Hunt, H. (2013). Making Marriage Simple.
-
Fertel, M. (2004). Marriage Fitness.
-
Slatkin, S. The Five-Step Action Plan to a Happy & Healthy Marriage.
-
Halford, W., & Snyder, D. (2012). Universal processes in couple therapy; Lebow, J., et al. (2012). Research on treatment of couple distress; plus TMRP intensive structure and aftercare protocols.
