Life as a military couple comes with unique challenges that civilian families rarely experience. Deployment, combat stress, PTSD, and traumatic brain injuries (TBI) can deeply affect a marriage. Many spouses ask:
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Can a marriage survive deployment and long separations?
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How does PTSD affect military relationships?
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What resources are available for military couples who want to save their marriage?
This guide explores the most common relationship struggles military couples face — and how marriage counseling can help repair trust, improve communication, and rebuild connection.
Why Military Couples Struggle More Than Civilians
Military families often live far from extended relatives, which means less social and emotional support. Add in frequent relocations, combat exposure, and the uncertainty of deployment, and stress can take a toll on even strong relationships.
Top issues military couples report:
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Long-distance separation during deployment
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Reintegration struggles when one partner returns home
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PTSD, TBI, anxiety, depression, or night terrors
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Loss of intimacy and connection
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Parenting stress when one parent is away
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Financial strain and uncertainty
Connecting TBI and PTSD With Relationships
According to the Defense and Veterans Brain Injury Center, active-duty and reserve service members are at higher risk for TBIs compared to civilians. Blast exposures, IEDs, and combat environments contribute to brain injuries that often overlap with PTSD symptoms.
PTSD is not inherited — it develops from exposure to traumatic events like combat, sexual assault, or life-threatening situations. Veterans Affairs research shows:
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11–20% of OIF/OEF veterans have experienced PTSD
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12% of Gulf War veterans
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30% of Vietnam War veterans【VA source】
When left untreated, these conditions can strain communication, increase conflict, and create emotional distance between partners.
How PTSD Affects Military Marriages
Spouses of service members often ask:
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Why does my veteran spouse push me away?
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Is it normal to feel like I’m “walking on eggshells”?
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How can I support my partner without losing myself?
PTSD symptoms that disrupt relationships:
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Emotional numbing and withdrawal
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Irritability and anger outbursts
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Hypervigilance and insomnia
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Avoidance of intimacy
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Difficulty trusting and communicating
These patterns can lead to feelings of isolation, resentment, or hopelessness if couples don’t get support.
How Marriage Counseling Helps Military Couples
Marriage counseling provides a structured, safe environment to work through these issues. At The Marriage Restoration Project, we use Imago Relationship Therapy — a method that helps partners:
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Communicate without blame or shame
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Identify and manage triggers linked to PTSD/TBI
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Rebuild trust and emotional connection
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Reduce destructive conflict cycles
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Strengthen intimacy and teamwork
Military couples often see faster progress in intensive marriage retreats than in weekly counseling, since intensives allow deep repair work over 2 days.
Where to Find Support
If you’re a military couple facing relationship struggles, here are steps you can take:
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Seek counseling early — don’t wait until things feel broken.
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Ask about trauma-informed therapy (like Imago, EMDR, or CBT).
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Explore marriage retreats for focused, fast progress.
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Connect with VA or DoD resources for medical and financial support.
At The Marriage Restoration Project, we offer in-person and virtual marriage counseling with locations in NYC, New Jersey, and Maryland.
👉 Download your free guide: The 60-Second Plan to a Happy Marriage to start rebuilding connection today.
Key Takeaways
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Military marriages face unique stressors: deployment, PTSD, TBI, and isolation.
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PTSD and TBI symptoms directly impact communication, intimacy, and trust.
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Marriage counseling and retreats help couples reconnect, manage triggers, and prevent divorce.
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Early intervention gives military couples the best chance at long-term success.
FAQs
Do military couples get free marriage counseling?
Yes, some services are covered by the VA, Military OneSource, or base chaplain programs. However, private therapy or retreats may not be fully covered.
Can PTSD ruin a marriage?
PTSD can strain relationships, but with treatment and counseling, many couples repair trust and grow stronger together.
What is the best therapy for military couples?
Intensive marriage counseling retreats are often more effective than weekly sessions for couples in crisis. Trauma-informed therapy like Imago helps both partners feel heard and safe.
How do I convince my veteran spouse to try counseling?
Frame counseling as a way to strengthen your teamwork and protect your family, rather than focusing on “fixing” one person. Many veterans respond better to solutions that emphasize mutual respect and partnership.
Sources
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Defense and Veterans Brain Injury Center – TBI & the Military
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U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs – Common Veteran Issues: PTSD