Marriage Intensives & Online Counseling | Imago Therapy โ€“ The Marriage Restoration Project

Regret Filing for Divorce? Hereโ€™s What to Do If Youโ€™re Second-Guessing It

Filing for divorce is a life-altering decisionโ€”one that many people later question. If you regret filing for divorce, youโ€™re not alone. This post is for you if you’ve made the move to end your marriage but now feel unsure or conflicted.

Why You Might Regret Filing for Divorce

You filed for divorce because something inside you said it couldnโ€™t go on like this. Maybe it was the fighting, the distance, or the deep exhaustion of trying to fix things over and over again. At the time, it felt like the only option left. But now that the papers are filed, youโ€™re not so sure. A quiet doubt is starting to creep in. Was this the right decision? What if we couldโ€™ve figured it out? What if thereโ€™s still something worth saving?

Itโ€™s not uncommon to feel regret after filing for divorce. The filing itself is a line in the sandโ€”something official, something that makes the problems feel permanent. But that doesnโ€™t mean your feelings are. Relationships are living, breathing things. They change. And so do people. The fear and overwhelm that led to the divorce filing may have softened just enough for you to see whatโ€™s really at the heart of your marriage.

Regret Isnโ€™t Weaknessโ€”Itโ€™s a Sign Something Still Matters

Sometimes we file for divorce not because weโ€™ve stopped loving our partner, but because weโ€™ve stopped believing that love can work. Itโ€™s possible you were crying out for a changeโ€”any changeโ€”to wake things up, to get through to your partner, or even to yourself. But now that everything is on the line, you realize that what you needed wasnโ€™t an ending. You needed a reset.

Regret isnโ€™t something to be ashamed of. Itโ€™s a signal. Itโ€™s your heart telling you that this matters. That underneath all the hurt and confusion, you still care. That doesnโ€™t mean you should go back into the same patterns. But it might mean you need supportโ€”real support, from someone who can help both of you talk safely, understand each other differently, and finally get to the core of whatโ€™s broken.

Is It Too Late to Change Your Mind After Filing for Divorce?

Youโ€™re not alone in feeling conflicted. Many couples have stood right where you areโ€”filed, paused, and then found their way back to something stronger than what they had before. A marriage that finally felt safe, honest, and connected. The paperwork doesnโ€™t mean itโ€™s over. Not if both of you are willing to pause, take a breath, and give it one more intentional try.

If youโ€™re reading this and wondering if itโ€™s too late to turn around, I want you to know itโ€™s not. But donโ€™t go back into the same dynamics. You need a space where both of you can show up differently. Itโ€™s not about blameโ€”itโ€™s about repair. Itโ€™s about seeing each other again with new eyes, not through old wounds.

What to Do If You Regret Filing for Divorce

Thereโ€™s a reason youโ€™re second-guessing the divorce. Listen to that voice. Not because itโ€™s easy, but because itโ€™s real. And real connection is always worth the effort. Consider speaking with a marriage therapist or signing up for a marriage intensive that gives you both a chance to be heard, understood, and reconnectedโ€”before the divorce becomes final.

Picture of Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online.

Picture of Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online.

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