While we may hate to admit it, no relationship is completely stress- and conflict-free. Each couple faces unique disagreements and stress points in their relationship, whether it’s due to money issues or arguments about how to best raise the kids. For the latter, these conflicts can often arise due to different parenting styles, with one spouse preferring one approach and another spouse preferring something different in raising their children. This type of conflict can quickly raise tempers and cause long-term resentment and other issues in the marriage if they are not properly addressed from the onset.
But how do you navigate the inevitable conflict that can arise with different parenting styles in a marriage? What can you do to lower stress levels and present a united front to your children? If you and your spouse have different parenting styles and find that you disagree and clash more than agree on how to raise your children, we’re happy to help. Keep reading to discover some of our top tips and advice for managing different parent styles within your marriage.
Keep the Lines of Communication Open
One of the most important steps to take in co-managing parenting with your partner is to reinforce open lines of communication. This will involve regular discussions of parenting with your partner, whether it’s evaluating your child’s needs and what will work best for them or simply chatting through potential issues that can arise and how they should be best addressed.
In addition to open, regular discussions with your partner, it’s also important to practice active listening in these situations. When your partner responds to questions and discussions, ensure that you are paying close attention and work to understand their perspective. This will help set you both up for success in navigating potential clashes in parenting styles and put less stress on your child or children in the process.
Remember That You’re a Team
When navigating conflicts between parenting styles in any relationship, it’s easy to begin to fall into the trap of thinking ‘me vs. them.’ Take a step back from the discussion and remember that you are both members of the same team and that together you are more effective in navigating conflict and finding the right solution. See the disagreement as a hurdle in your relationship that you must overcome together with the right mindset and partnership rather than a ‘me vs. them’ type of situation.
This can involve compromise on both sides of the relationship, even if it’s conceding that your partner is right about something that you don’t necessarily agree on. The process of compromising with your partner may also necessitate testing out different parenting strategies to see what works best for your child. Together, you’ll need to determine which option provides the best outcome for all parties involved, whether it’s what you think is best or what your partner thinks is best.
Show Your Children That You’re a Team
On top of remembering that you and your partner are two important members of the same team, it’s also crucial to present a united front when addressing your children. Ensure that you avoid criticizing or undermining your partner in front of the kids in order to maintain your united front and your combined authority. In addition, make sure that you show support for your partner’s parenting efforts, whether or not you necessarily agree with them. By functioning inwardly and outwardly as a team, you can show your children the direct benefit of having two loving parents that work together to raise them.
Don’t Forget About Your Children
When coping with different parenting styles, it’s always important to remember the heart of the issue at hand – your children. Remember, you’re in it to raise your children properly together, prioritizing their wellbeing at each step of the process. No matter how much you disagree on how to parent them, never forget that they are the most important piece of the puzzle and it should always be your utmost priority to ensure that they feel safe, secure and loved by both you and your spouse.
Ask for Help if You Need It
If you and your spouse find yourselves stuck in a cycle of parenting disagreements, reaching out for help isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a step toward building a stronger, more united partnership.
Working with a licensed marriage counselor or couples therapist can help you both explore your differences in a safe, structured environment while learning how to align your parenting goals and communication styles.
At The Marriage Restoration Project, we offer both online marriage counseling programs and private 2-day marriage intensives designed to help couples reconnect, reduce conflict, and move forward together. Whether you’re looking for a flexible online option or a deeper, focused intervention, our approach offers the tools you need to rebuild trust and create a united front—as partners and as parents.
How to Handle Parenting Disagreements Without Hurting Your Marriage
No couple is perfect and no marriage comes without disagreements. This is especially true for couples that have children that can’t seem to agree on the right methods of raising them. From how to discipline to simply what to make for dinner, these disagreements can quickly cause tension in any relationship, leading to eventual resentment. This can also place undue stress on children, as they can see that their parents are experiencing conflict. By keeping lines of communication open, remembering that you’re on a team, presenting a united front and keeping your children’s wellbeing at the heart of any discussion, you can set you and your partner up for success in navigating disagreements around parenting styles. And don’t forget – you can always reach out for help if you need it.
