Questions to Ask Before Booking a Couples Therapy Weekend

When couples contact me about attending my private marriage retreat, the first thing I tell them is this: not all couples therapy weekends are created equal. The right one can be life-changing; the wrong one can feel like an expensive disappointment. If you’re going to invest the time, money, and emotional energy into a multi-day intensive, you want to know—before you book—that it will actually help you.

Here’s are some questions I recommend you ask before booking a couples therapy weekend:

1. What is the Therapist’s Specialization?

It’s not enough that your retreat is led by a licensed therapist. You need someone who specializes in couples therapy—not someone who primarily sees individuals and “also” works with couples.

Research has shown that therapists without advanced couples-specific training may inadvertently cause harm, especially when high-conflict couples are involved¹. I have seen cases where well-meaning individual therapists applied methods designed for one-on-one work, only to escalate marital tension in a joint setting.

Ask:

• What advanced couples therapy training do you have?
• Do you hold certification in a specific methodology?
• How often do you work with couples compared to individuals?

2. How Does the Approach Address Deeper Patterns?

In my own work, I use Imago Relationship Therapy because it goes beyond surface conflict and dives into the deeper patterns that keep couples stuck. One of the most impactful aspects of Imago is exploring how unresolved childhood wounds show up in our current relationships.

For example, if your partner’s criticism feels disproportionately painful, that reaction may be tied to early experiences of feeling judged or rejected. By working through these old wounds together, you not only reduce conflict—you strengthen empathy, connection, and long-term resilience².

Many weekend intensives skip this deep work, focusing instead on communication skills alone. Skills are important, but without healing the root causes, you may find yourselves repeating the same arguments months later.

Ask:

• Does the program include exploration of childhood influences?
• Will you help us identify and heal past hurts that affect our marriage today?

3. What Is the Structure and Intensity of the Weekend?

The term “intensive” means different things to different providers. Some weekends offer just a few hours of actual counseling per day; others immerse you in six to eight hours of guided therapeutic work daily.

A 2019 meta-analysis found that condensed therapy formats can yield faster gains for certain couples, especially when sessions are highly focused and customized³. But intensity without intentional pacing can overwhelm partners, especially if they’ve never done therapy before.

Ask:

• How many hours of counseling will we have each day?
• Will the weekend be entirely private, or will we be in a group setting?
• Is there time built in for processing and integration?

4. How Will We Apply What We Learn After the Weekend?

A weekend can create powerful breakthroughs—but sustaining them requires follow-through. In my retreats, couples leave with customized tools they can practice at home: structured dialogue scripts, step-by-step conflict repair processes, and daily connection exercises.

Couples who continue to practice these tools report significantly better long-term outcomes than those who leave without a plan⁴.

Ask:

• Do you provide a written plan or exercises to use after the retreat?
• Is follow-up support available?

5. What Is Your Success Rate—and How Do You Measure It?

No therapist can guarantee success, but they should be able to share:

• How they define a successful outcome
• Follow-up data on client satisfaction
• Common challenges they see after the retreat

If a provider avoids this question entirely, consider it a red flag.

Ask:

• How do you measure progress?
• What percentage of couples report improvement?

6. How Will This Retreat Be Different from Weekly Therapy?

An intensive should offer more than “the same thing, just crammed into a weekend.” When done well, the immersive environment allows couples to stay in the work long enough to break through defensive patterns before they reset.

In my practice, I’ve seen couples accomplish in two days what might take six months in weekly therapy. That’s because there’s no “pause” for life to get in the way, and we can work through multiple layers of issues in real time.

Ask:

• What makes your weekend approach more effective than weekly sessions?
• How do you ensure breakthroughs are sustained after the retreat?

Quick Self-Check: Are You Ready for a Couples Therapy Weekend?

Answer each statement True or False:

1. We both want to improve the relationship, even if we’re unsure how.
2. We can commit to at least two full days of focused work.
3. We are open to exploring not just present issues but also past experiences.
4. We’re willing to practice tools after the weekend ends.
5. We understand that change is a process, not a one-time event.

If you answered True to at least four statements, you’re in a good position to benefit from an intensive weekend.

Key Takeaways

• Leverage research: Back your decision with proven therapeutic outcomes and evidence-based methods.
• Own the unique lens: Choosing an approach like Imago therapy means you’ll address the deeper childhood wounds that often drive marital conflict—something not all retreats do.
• Engage tools + UX: Clear follow-up tools enhance both your retreat experience and long-term results.
• Content depth: Focus on the “why” behind each retreat element, not just the “what,” so you choose a weekend that creates lasting change.

Sources

1. Doherty, W. J., & Simmons, D. S. (1996). Clinical practice patterns of marital therapists: The disconnect between research and clinical practice. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 22(1), 9–25. ↩
2. Hendrix, H., Hunt, H. L., & Hunt, S. (2019). Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space-Between: A Clinician’s Guide. Norton. ↩
3. Baucom, D. H., et al. (2015). Brief interventions for couples: An integrative review. Family Process, 54(4), 477–495. ↩
4. Snyder, D. K., Castellani, A. M., & Whisman, M. A. (2006). Current status and future directions in couple therapy. Annual Review of Psychology, 57, 317–344. ↩