My Spouse and I are Drifting Apart
Reasons Couples Drift Apart
Love is a feeling that can actually wax and wane over time. In a truly committed marriage, both partners behave lovingly toward one another, even if they aren’t currently feeling “romantic love”. (You can understand more about how love can fade over time in our article about the stages of relationship and relationship cycles). When couples don’t put a concerted effort into growing together, they can drift apart.
Sometimes couples drift apart because they’re both busy with their own careers and hobbies. At other times, couples drift apart when the kids leave the home. There are many things that can cause couples to drift apart over time but it all comes to down to the fact that they may not be putting in enough connection time into the marriage.
Prevent Yourself From Drifting Apart
Prevent yourself from drifting apart by making your marriage a top priority. Make it known that you are going to devote yourself to your spouse and that you are willing to work hard to make your marriage work.
Spend time together as a couple. Schedule a weekly date night if possible. Take turns planning your date night destinations. Remember, that date nights don’t need to be extravagant or expensive. Instead, keep the focus on spending quality time together.
If you have children, nurture your relationship outside of your roles as parents. Remember, that you’ll need to have more in common than having children together if you want your marriage to last long after the children have left home.
Find new activities to enjoy together. Engaging in new activities can help build excitement and prevent boredom. Get creative and don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone when it comes to trying new activities together.
While some couples may enjoy volunteering together, others may enjoy working on home projects as a couple. It doesn’t matter what you do together but it’s important that you spend time together talking and growing together as a couple.
When you work on your emotional intimacy, you’ll find that all aspects of your relationship will get better. You’ll communicate better. You’ll be able to solve problems and deal with conflict in healthier ways. Your marital intimacy is likely to improve as well.
Seek Professional Marriage Help
Growing together as a couple is an essential component in any lasting, happy marriage. It takes a lot of energy and commitment but there certainly are steps you can take to avoid drifting apart and going “stale”. If you feel like you and your spouse have already drifted apart and you aren’t sure what to do about it, seek professional help. A professional can assist you in improving your bond and can help you stay emotionally connected to one another. We’ll provide our contact form below that you can use to contact us if you feel that you and your spouse are drifting apart.
With best wishes for your relationship success,
Shlomo and Rivka Slatkin