If you’ve ever wondered, “Is it worth getting marriage help from a professional?”, you’re not alone. Many couples hesitate—often because they’ve heard stories of therapy dragging on for years, costing thousands, and not actually helping.
Here’s the truth: marriage counseling can absolutely work, but not all marriage counseling is created equal. The difference between leaving a session feeling hopeful and leaving feeling worse can often come down to the therapist’s training and the method they use¹.
Why Some Marriage Counseling Makes Things Worse
Unfortunately, not every counselor who sees couples has specialized training in marital therapy. Many have only a general background in social work or clinical psychology without advanced relationship-specific techniques².
Without a structured approach, sessions can unintentionally:
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Allow unproductive arguments to play out in the room.
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Lead to one partner feeling “ganged up on” by the therapist.
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Reopen wounds without offering a safe path to repair.
In fact, some couples report walking out of traditional sessions feeling less connected than when they arrived³.
Why Specialized Methods Like Imago Therapy Succeed
Evidence-based approaches—such as Imago Relationship Therapy and the Gottman Method—focus on structured, blame-free communication that rebuilds emotional safety⁴ ⁵.
Imago therapy, for example, teaches couples the Imago Dialogue, a step-by-step process that helps partners listen deeply, respond with empathy, and express themselves without criticism. Research shows that structured communication models can significantly reduce relationship distress and improve satisfaction⁶.
When my wife and I first tried Imago therapy, we walked into the session feeling disconnected—and left feeling like newlyweds. That transformation wasn’t about avoiding hard topics—it was about how we worked through them.
The Value of Intensives Over Years of Weekly Sessions
Many couples assume they’ll need to commit to therapy for years. But concentrated formats—such as 2-day marriage counseling intensives—can help you make six months’ worth of progress in a single weekend⁷.
These programs work because:
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They give you uninterrupted time to dig deep without the “see you next week” cliffhanger.
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You practice skills until they feel natural—like learning to ride a bike.
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You leave with a concrete plan for follow-up and continued progress.
Is it worth seeking out marriage help from a professional? I could just go to a friend or clergyman can’t I?
The answer is that it depends on who you go to. One couple came to me after thirty years of marriage. The wife told me that their last therapist would always side with her over her husband. She had to tell the therapist not to side with her as she knew that she could not possibly always be right! They were open to Imago, tried it, and it transformed their marriage.
Couples that practice Imago therapy walk out of the sessions feeling lighter than they did when they walked in. There is no blame or shaming of each other. No yelling or fighting. In fact, towards the end of one session one wife commented that she was concerned that this session she would leave feeling worse about her husband than when she arrived. This was particularly alarming because after a year of weekly sessions with another therapist, this would be the first time she did not leave the session feeling better about her husband than when she walked in.
Even if you’re a person that has gone to marriage counseling with another therapist and it didn’t work, or you’re one half of a couple that has to drag your spouse along unwillingly, the bottom line for all of these couples is to have an open mind and to be able to trust the process. Trust that your marriage can be better. Trust that Imago is effective because you have read testimonials from successful couples. Finally, trust that the process is safe and that if you commit to doing it, it can work.
Of course, trust is not easy. That may be precisely why we seek counseling. Ultimately, there is no convincing. You are taking a risk, a risk that will be well worth it.
The Investment vs. the Cost of Divorce
Yes, marriage counseling costs money. But compared to divorce—which can involve splitting assets, legal fees, and two separate households—the investment is minimal⁸.
Even from a purely financial perspective, saving a marriage often makes more economic sense. From an emotional perspective, the value is immeasurable.
Key Takeaways
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Not all marriage counseling works—the therapist’s training and method matter.
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Unstructured sessions can harm a relationship by amplifying conflict without resolution.
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Evidence-based models like Imago provide a safe, structured path to reconnection.
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Intensive formats can create faster, deeper breakthroughs than years of weekly sessions.
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The cost of counseling is far less than the financial and emotional toll of divorce.
Sources
¹ Gurman, A. S., & Fraenkel, P. (2002). The history of couple therapy: A millennial review. Family Process.
² Lebow, J., Chambers, A., Christensen, A., & Johnson, S. M. (2012). Research on the treatment of couple distress. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy.
³ Snyder, D. K., Castellani, A. M., & Whisman, M. A. (2006). Current status and future directions in couple therapy. Annual Review of Psychology.
⁴ Hendrix, H., & Hunt, H. L. (2019). Doing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space-Between.
⁵ Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Harmony Books.
⁶ Rogge, R. D., Cobb, R. J., Lawrence, E., Johnson, M. D., & Bradbury, T. N. (2013). Is skills training necessary for the primary prevention of marital distress? Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology.
⁷ Geiss, S. K., & O’Leary, K. D. (1981). Therapist competence and training in the behavioral treatment of marital distress. Behavior Therapy.
⁸ Amato, P. R. (2010). Research on divorce: Continuing trends and new developments. Journal of Marriage and Family.
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