Choosing the right therapist for your marriage counseling retreat is a big decision—and let’s be honest, it can feel a bit overwhelming. You’re about to dive into an immersive experience designed to transform your relationship, so you want to make sure the therapist you’re working with is not just qualified but someone you truly click with. But how do you know who’s the right fit? Don’t worry—we’ve got you covered.

Here’s a guide to help you find the perfect marriage counselor for your retreat!

Choosing a marriage retreat therapist

1. Do They Have the Right Experience?

Let’s start with the basics: Does your counselor know their stuff? If you were hiring someone to fix a leaky roof, you’d want a pro, right? The same goes for your marriage retreat therapist. Here’s what to look for:

• Proper Credentials: Look for someone who’s got the right licenses—like a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), or psychologist. You want someone who has the technical skills to tackle relationship issues head-on.

• Specialized Training: Not every therapist specializes in relationships. Check if they’ve been trained in marriage-specific methods, such as Imago Therapy. These approaches are designed to help couples thrive and reconnect, and knowing they’ve been through specialized training can give you peace of mind.

• Retreat Experience: Leading a marriage retreat isn’t the same as running regular therapy sessions. You need someone who’s been there, done that, and knows how to handle the intensity of a two-day retreat. Ask about their experience in facilitating retreats and whether they’ve helped couples in similar situations to yours.

2. How Do They Approach Therapy?

Every therapist has their own unique style—some are warm and nurturing, others are more direct and action-oriented. What’s important is that their approach resonates with you. Here are some methods you might encounter at a retreat:

• Imago Therapy: This method helps couples understand the deeper emotional patterns that affect their relationship. It focuses on healing wounds from the past so you can communicate better in the present. If you’re looking for connection and emotional growth, this approach could be a great fit.

• Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): This therapy is all about building emotional bonds. If you and your partner are craving a deeper emotional connection and want to understand each other’s emotional needs, EFT could help you get there.

Ask the counselor about their preferred therapy methods, and see if their approach aligns with your relationship goals. Don’t be afraid to ask how they’ve used these methods to help other couples!

3. Do You Feel a Good Vibe?

This is the big one. You’re going to spend hours with this person over the course of the retreat, so it’s important that you feel comfortable with them. Think of it like dating—but for your marriage! Here are a few things to consider:

• Connection and Trust: When you meet with the counselor, do they make you feel at ease? Are they someone you feel comfortable being vulnerable with? A great marriage counselor will create a safe space where you and your partner feel heard and understood.

• Communication Style: Do they listen to your concerns without interrupting? Can they break down complex relationship issues in a way that makes sense? Good communication from your therapist is key to helping you understand the dynamics of your relationship.

• Personality: Does their personality mesh well with yours? If you’re someone who appreciates humor and lightness during tough conversations, look for a therapist who can balance seriousness with some levity. If you need someone more soothing and calming, that’s okay too. It’s all about finding the right energy.

4. What’s Their Success Story?

A counselor with a track record of success is always a plus. Don’t be afraid to ask about their past experiences working with couples—especially those who have gone through similar struggles to yours.

You can also ask to hear success stories from previous retreat participants. Of course, every relationship is unique, but hearing about the positive outcomes of others can give you confidence in your decision.

5. Can They Make Time for You?

Let’s face it: your retreat is a big investment, and you don’t want to be left hanging when it comes time to book. Make sure the marriage therapist has availability that works with your schedule and can devote their full attention to you and your partner during the retreat. You want someone who’s present and ready to give you the support you need to make real changes.

6. Trust Your Gut

At the end of the day, this is the most important tip: trust your instincts. If something feels off, or if you’re not fully comfortable with the counselor, it’s okay to keep looking. Your marriage is worth investing in, so make sure you feel confident and supported every step of the way.

7. Marriage Counseling Retreat Red Flags to Watch For

Not every therapist is going to be the right match—and some may even do more harm than good, especially in a retreat setting where emotions run high and the stakes feel even higher.

Here are some things to keep an eye out for:

🚩 Pushing a Personal or Political Agenda

A good therapist keeps your goals and values front and center—not their own. If you notice that a counselor is heavily promoting political views, religious ideologies, or lifestyle opinions on their public pages (like Facebook or Instagram), and it doesn’t align with what you’re looking for, it’s okay to keep looking.

You deserve a neutral space. Your relationship isn’t a political battleground—it’s a deeply personal and sacred space that needs care, not judgment.

🚩 They Don’t Really Believe in Marriage

This one might sound obvious, but it’s worth saying: If a therapist doesn’t fundamentally believe in the power of repairing a marriage, they’re probably not the right person to guide you through a retreat meant to save your relationship.

How can you tell? Ask them something like:

“When couples come to you on the brink, is your goal to help them stay together or help them separate?”

A good retreat therapist will honor your desire to stay together and work toward reconciliation—unless there’s abuse or extreme circumstances. You want someone who fights with you for your relationship, not someone who’s subtly nudging you toward calling it quits.

🚩 They’re Overly Directive Without Knowing Your Story

If they jump to advice or conclusions before learning your background or fully hearing from both partners, that’s a red flag. Good therapy is collaborative, not prescriptive. You shouldn’t feel like you’re being told what to do—you should feel like you’re being guided toward your own best answers.

What Role Does a Marriage Retreat Counselor Actually Play?

A great marriage retreat counselor is not a referee, judge, or someone who takes sides. Their role is far more nuanced—and powerful.

Here’s what you can expect from a skilled facilitator:

• Creates a safe emotional space for open and honest dialogue without fear of blame or shame.
• Guides structured communication using proven methods (like Imago Dialogue or Gottman interventions) that allow both partners to feel seen and heard.
• Interrupts destructive patterns when needed, helping you shift out of gridlock or escalation.
• Keeps the retreat focused on your goals, whether that’s reconnection, repair, or clarity.
• Teaches new tools, not just insight—so you walk away with practical strategies you can use at home.
• Maintains neutrality, honoring each partner’s experience equally without picking a side.

They’re not there to fix you. They’re there to help you fix us—together.

At The Marriage Restoration Project, Shlomo uses a blend of structured Imago-based dialogue, emotionally attuned coaching, and over two decades of clinical experience to help couples transform their relationship—without assigning blame or judgment. His role is to guide you back to each other, not push you apart.

Private vs Group Marriage Retreats: How the Counselor’s Role Changes

Not all retreats are one-on-one. Some couples attend group intensives—and while both formats have benefits, the therapist’s role differs depending on the setup.

If you’re navigating serious breakdowns, sensitive topics, or want total immersion, a private retreat is often best. The therapist can give undivided attention—and adjust in real time based on what your marriage needs.

Questions to Ask a Marriage Retreat Therapist Before Booking

Here are a few key questions that reveal how a therapist approaches couples work:

• “What’s your goal when working with couples on the brink of separation?”
• “What methods do you use during retreats?”
• “Do you encourage couples to stay together or explore separation?”
• “Can you describe what the structure of the retreat looks like?”
• “Have you helped couples in similar situations to ours?”

A good therapist will welcome your questions. If they seem defensive or vague? That’s a sign to keep looking.

Best Therapist for Couples Retreat

Choosing the right marriage retreat counselor for your marriage counseling retreat isn’t about finding the “perfect” therapist—it’s about finding someone who is the perfect fit for you and your partner. So take your time, ask questions, and choose someone you both feel can guide you through the challenges and breakthroughs ahead. After all, this is the first step toward lasting change—and you deserve someone who can help you get there with trust, expertise, and heart.

Part of the Blog Series: The Truth About Marriage Counseling Retreats

This post is part of our 6-part series:

1. Costs
2. Effectiveness
3. Retreat Logistics
4. Therapy Methods
5. Red Flags
6. Choosing the Right Therapist