My wife moved out. Marriage counseling won’t work if you can’t get your wife to come to a session. And our marriage counseling advice does NOT include pressuring your wife to come on board.

While in general, there is usually a “dragger” and a “draggee”, one spouse being more reluctant to come to counseling, marriage counseling can only be effective if both parties show up.So what do you do if your spouse does not want to come to marriage counseling? And what if your spouse has actually moved out?

So what do you do when your wife moved out and you want her back?

The only thing that you CAN do is to work on yourself and how you “show up” in the relationship.

A relationship is a two way street. Although you may think that your spouse is to blame, it’s important to be aware of what you may have contributed to your marital conflict.

What are you doing to trigger your wife? How did your situation get to the point where she decided to leave? What pain do you think she’s experiencing that motivated her to take this drastic step? How can you be the best spouse that you can be- even with her living somewhere else?

As you begin to work on yourself, (and follow the 5 steps that we recommend) you may begin to notice that your wife will respond in kind. She may actually want to participate in counseling once she sees that you’ve actually changed.

If you can’t get your spouse to work on the marriage with you after they’ve moved out, take the 10 Steps to Win Your Spouse Back Challenge.

You may need more personalized marriage counseling advice in this serious case.

It’s very sad when a spouse decides to move out of the house and each situation is very personal. If you’d like to talk more about what you can do to help bring about a change, please don’t hesitate to contact us to talk more about our private 2 Day Marriage Restoration Retreat. We would like to be able to help you once and for all.

More inspiration for you when your wife moved out:



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Shlomo & Rivka Slatkin

Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin is an Imago relationship therapist and certified (master level) Imago workshop presenter with over 20 years of experience hosting couples therapy retreats in-person and online. Contact or