Is My Marriage Over? 5 Signs & What to Do Next

It’s one of the scariest questions a couple can ask: Is my marriage over?

If you’re lying awake at night replaying fights, feeling alone in the same house, or wondering if you’ll ever get back to the way it used to be, you’re not alone. Many couples reach this painful crossroads. The good news? Hitting this point doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the end—it means something has to change.

As a licensed clinical professional counselor (LCPC) and Certified Imago Relationship Therapist, I’ve spent more than 20 years helping couples in crisis. What I’ve seen time and again is that when couples get the right support—fast—relationships that feel hopeless can heal.

Here are five signs your marriage may be in serious trouble and what you can do next.

1. You’re Living Like Roommates

If the friendship, affection, and intimacy are gone, it may feel like you’re just two people sharing bills and a roof. While this can feel final, it often signals a pattern of disconnection that can be rebuilt with focused effort.

2. Communication Always Ends in Conflict or Silence

Every conversation turns into a fight—or worse, you stop talking altogether. This cycle of attack, defend, or avoid is one of the strongest predictors of relationship breakdown.

3. Trust Has Been Broken

Whether through infidelity, lies, or repeated broken promises, trust is the foundation of marriage. Without it, every interaction becomes fragile. Rebuilding trust takes time and often requires professional guidance.

4. You’re Fantasizing About a Different Life

When one or both partners frequently imagine being single or with someone else, it’s a sign the marriage feels unbearable in its current form. This doesn’t mean the marriage is doomed—it means unmet needs are screaming for attention.

5. You’ve Tried Weekly Counseling Without Progress

Many couples come to us after months (or years) of weekly therapy that never seemed to move the needle. The reality is, 50 minutes once a week isn’t always enough to break entrenched cycles.

What to Do if You See These Signs

The fact that you’re even searching “Is my marriage over?” means you still care enough to ask. That spark of hope is important. Here are the next steps:

• Don’t decide in despair. Choices made at the lowest point often lead to regret.
• Get support quickly. Time matters when the relationship is on the line.
• Consider an intensive. A private 2-day marriage intensive is designed for couples at this exact crossroads. It compresses 8–9 months of therapy into one weekend, providing the breakthroughs weekly sessions can’t.

Your “Last Chance” Doesn’t Have to Be the Last Stop

If you’re asking whether your marriage is over, you’re in the exact place where an intensive retreat can make all the difference. At The Marriage Restoration Project, our Last Chance Marriage Retreat is designed for couples who feel like they’ve tried everything else.

Over two immersive days, we work privately with just you and your partner, giving you the tools and breakthroughs to decide your future with clarity—not despair. Many couples walk in ready to call it quits and walk out with renewed hope.

Key Takeaways

• Feeling disconnected, fighting constantly, broken trust, or fantasizing about leaving are serious warning signs.
• Weekly therapy isn’t always enough to repair deep wounds.
• A private, on-demand marriage intensive is one of the most effective options for couples at the “last chance” stage.
• Searching “Is my marriage over?” means there’s still a spark worth fighting for.

Frequently Asked Questions

Sources

1. Gottman, J. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown.
2. Johnson, S. (2008). Hold Me Tight. Little, Brown Spark.
3. American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT). Research on Effectiveness of Couple Therapy.