Most couples aren’t working together as a joint effort.
When marriage problems surface, it can feel like you’re on opposite sides of a never-ending argument. But what if the key to solving marriage problems wasn’t about choosing who’s right—but about choosing to be on the same team? You’re in the right place if you want to work on solving marriage problems together rather than separately- which can be quite counter productive.
That’s the foundation of our approach to marriage restoration. With decades of experience helping couples reconnect, Rabbi Shlomo’s method focuses on teamwork, empathy, and intentional communication—because marriage healing happens when both partners lean in, together.
Why Solving Marriage Problems Together Matters
Many couples make the mistake of trying to “fix” their spouse instead of understanding the root causes of their disconnection. But marriage help for both partners begins when you both decide to stop pointing fingers and start reaching out.
Marriage isn’t 50/50—it’s 100/100. Both partners must commit fully to the process of growth, healing, and change.
Why Seeing a Therapist Separately Doesn’t Work
A common pitfall couples fall into—even with professional help—is working on their relationship individually. Many marriage counselors still see partners separately or alternate sessions between them.
But here’s what we know:
Marriage isn’t about fixing two broken people—it’s about healing the space between them.
“You can’t repair a relationship in isolation. The transformation happens in the connection.” — Rabbi Shlomo
When therapy is divided, partners may feel heard—but they’re not learning how to hear each other. It becomes about venting, not connecting. Analyzing each person’s behavior misses the core issue: the breakdown in the relational dynamic.
That’s why we work with couples together, in real-time, guiding them through structured, connective conversations that rebuild trust and intimacy.
Couples that work together create a safe space for communication.
The first pillar of Rabbi Shlomo’s approach is safety. You cannot open up emotionally when you feel attacked, judged, or ignored.
- What to do: Set aside regular, structured time to talk—without distractions, phones, or multitasking.
- Why it works: This signals to your partner, “You matter. I’m here. I’m listening.”
Rabbi Shlomo guides couples to communicate without criticism or blame. He teaches you to mirror each other’s words, validate emotions, and express empathy. This isn’t just talking—it’s connecting.
Couples that solve problems together learn to see the pattern, not just the problem
Instead of focusing on isolated arguments, identify the deeper patterns that keep showing up.
- What to ask: “What cycle are we stuck in? What’s the underlying fear or unmet need that’s driving this?”
- What you’ll uncover: Often, recurring marriage problems are really defense mechanisms we learned long before marriage—like withdrawing to avoid conflict or becoming critical to feel in control.
Healing begins when you both stop blaming and start noticing your dance.
Couples wanting to work on things together rebuild trust through consistent, intentional action
Trust isn’t restored with promises—it’s rebuilt with consistency.
- What to do: Choose small, loving actions that show your partner you’re serious about change. This might mean following through on commitments, apologizing without excuses, or simply checking in emotionally each day.
- Why it matters: Trust grows when words and actions match—again and again.
This is how you begin to feel safe with each other again.
Couples working together to solve things prioritize the relationship—not just the problems
It’s easy to become obsessed with fixing what’s broken. Couples need to also nourish what’s working.
- What to try: Reignite shared rituals, playful connection, and appreciation.
- Why it helps: Focusing only on problems drains hope. Investing in joy creates momentum for healing.
By remembering what brought you together, you give your relationship the oxygen it needs to thrive.
Couples look for marriage friendly support that honors the relationship space-both of you—At the Same Time
Sometimes, working on marriage problems together means inviting in someone trained to hold space for both of you—without taking sides.
That’s what we offer through The Marriage Restoration Project’s Private 2-Day Marriage Retreats. These intensives give couples the tools, time, and guidance to break toxic patterns and create lasting connection—all in just two transformative days. They are truly the best way to work on solving marriage problems together with just the both of you and a therapist.
This is not therapy as usual. You’re not working on yourself separately. You’re working on the us—together.
Final Thoughts: Saving Your Marriage As a Team
Working on your marriage doesn’t mean pretending everything is okay. It means being brave enough to say, “We’re not okay—but we want to be.” And then doing the work—together.
If you’re ready to stop going in circles and start rebuilding as a team, Rabbi Shlomo’s approach may be the turning point you’ve been looking for.
Want Help Solving Marriage Problems Together?
Explore our Marriage Retreats, Online Marriage School, or contact us to talk through next steps. You don’t have to do this alone—and you shouldn’t.
