If you’re feeling disconnected in your relationship, you may have considered attending a marriage retreat or intensive couples therapy but aren’t sure how to suggest a couples retreat to your spouse. But what if your partner isn’t on the same page yet? Bringing up the idea can feel intimidating—especially when emotions are running high. This guide will help you start the conversation in a way that feels respectful, non-blaming, and rooted in a shared desire to make things better.
Couples often wait too long to get help, hoping things will magically improve or fearing what therapy might uncover. A 2-day marriage intensive can provide the focused time, expert support, and communication tools many couples need to reset and rebuild. Unlike traditional weekly sessions, a marriage retreat compresses months of progress into one powerful weekend. If you’ve been spinning in cycles of conflict or distance, this can be a transformative step forward.
Choose the Right Time to Talk About Therapy
The first thing to consider is timing. Avoid bringing up the idea during or right after an argument. Look for a calm, neutral moment when you’re both relatively relaxed and receptive. You might say, “There’s something important I want to talk about, but I’d like to find a good time for both of us when we’re not rushed or stressed.” Timing builds safety and shows respect, which increases your chances of a positive conversation.
Use “I” Statements to Reduce Defensiveness
Next, use “I” language instead of “You” language. Rather than focusing on what your partner is doing wrong, speak from your own perspective. For example, instead of saying, “You never talk to me,” you can say, “I miss feeling close to you and want us to reconnect.” Try something like, “I’ve been feeling like we’re stuck lately, and I don’t want us to drift further apart. I love you, and I want us to feel like a team again. That’s why I’ve been looking into something that might really help us—a marriage retreat.”
Address Your Spouse’s Concerns About Couples Counseling
It also helps to address potential hesitations your partner might have before they even voice them. Many people feel nervous about therapy, especially if it’s unfamiliar. Let them know it’s not about pointing fingers—it’s about learning new tools. It’s private, confidential, and not group-based. The focus is on healing, not rehashing old pain. You could say, “It’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s about both of us getting the help we need to feel connected again. The therapists are trained to guide couples through tough moments gently. It’s a safe space for both of us.”
Share What You’ve Learned About the Retreat
Show that you’ve done your homework. Reassure your partner that this isn’t a spur-of-the-moment idea. Mention the specific couples therapy retreat you’ve looked into, such as The Marriage Restoration Project. Be ready to share what’s included in the intensive weekend, how it works, where it’s located, and who the therapist is. If they hear that it’s structured and solution-focused, they may feel less resistant.
Make the Invitation About the Relationship, Not the Problem
Make it about teamwork, not ultimatums. This isn’t about threatening the relationship—it’s about saving it together. You’re not saying, “Go with me or else.” You’re saying, “Let’s do this because we both deserve more.” Try this: “I’m not giving up on us. I believe we can get through this, but I also think we need support. We’ve tried doing it on our own, and I think we owe it to ourselves to try something that’s worked for so many other couples.”
Invite Them to Explore the Marriage Retreat Together
Finally, invite them to explore the idea with you. Rather than asking them to say yes on the spot, suggest looking at the website together or scheduling a free call to ask questions. “Can we look at the website together or schedule a free call to ask questions? That way we can decide as a team.” This keeps the pressure low and encourages curiosity.
Marriage Retreats Are for Couples Who Want to Reconnect
The hardest part is often just starting the conversation. But when approached with care and calm, asking your partner to consider a marriage retreat can be the first act of healing. Even if they say “not yet,” you’ve planted the seed that your relationship matters—and that you’re willing to invest in it.
What Makes The Marriage Restoration Project Different?
At The Marriage Restoration Project, our 2-Day Marriage Retreats are designed for couples who want fast, effective transformation—without months of weekly sessions. Every couple starts with a conversation with Shlomo, who helps match you with the right therapist based on your needs, situation, and location.
