Can You Stop a Divorce After Filing?
Absolutely. It’s your marriage — and even if the divorce papers have already been filed, that doesn’t mean it’s too late to stop the process.
While the legal system has its procedures, what matters most right now is your commitment to doing everything possible to reconcile.
If you’ve had second thoughts and want to know how to legally and emotionally reverse the process, here’s how to make it count.
The Legal Process: How to Withdraw a Divorce Petition
We’re marriage counselors, not attorneys, but the legal side of stopping a divorce is fairly straightforward in most U.S. states.
Here’s a quick step-by-step outline (adapted from LegalZoom):
Step 1: Visit the Courthouse Where You Filed
Go to the courthouse where you filed for divorce and ask the clerk how to stop or withdraw your case. Request the form to voluntarily dismiss or withdraw your divorce petition.
Step 2: Complete and File the Form
It’s usually a one-page document. In most states, you don’t have to give a reason — simply state that you’re voluntarily withdrawing your petition.
Step 3: File It With the Clerk
Return the completed form and several copies to the clerk’s office. The clerk will stamp your copies “filed” and return at least one to you for your records.
Step 4: Serve Your Spouse (If Required)
In some states, you must send your spouse a copy. The court can often do this for you. If not, you can send it by certified mail.
Once filed, your case will be officially closed. If you ever decide to file again, you’ll have to start from scratch.
So make this reconciliation count.
The Emotional Process: How to Rebuild After Filing
Filing for divorce doesn’t mean your marriage is over — but it does mean something needs to change.
If you’re ready to stop the divorce, you need to also start rebuilding the emotional connection that led to the separation in the first place.
Here’s how to begin:
1. Take Responsibility Without Blame
Acknowledge your role in what went wrong — not to shame yourself, but to take ownership. Genuine accountability restores trust.
2. Seek the Right Kind of Marriage Help
Not all counseling works. In fact, some traditional therapy can make things worse by focusing on blame instead of connection.
Choose an approach designed to rebuild safety and communication — like Imago Relationship Therapy or our Private Marriage Intensive Retreats, which help couples reconnect even after filing for divorce.
3. Don’t Rush Forgiveness — Rebuild Trust First
Forgiveness is a process. Focus first on emotional safety and clear, consistent communication.
4. Create a Fresh Start
Use this as your turning point — a “reset” moment to rebuild your marriage stronger than before.
What to Avoid When Trying to Stop a Divorce
- Don’t beg or pressure your spouse. It only reinforces distance.
- Don’t assume one failed therapy means it’s hopeless. Try another therapist or model.
- Don’t skip the self-work. Healing your own patterns is what changes the relationship.
Key Takeaways
- It’s completely possible to stop a divorce after filing papers — legally and emotionally.
- The person who filed must submit a voluntary dismissal form to the court.
- After stopping the process, invest deeply in rebuilding your connection.
- Find marriage help that focuses on safety, empathy, and skill-building — not blame.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q1. Can both spouses stop a divorce after filing?
Yes, but the spouse who filed must be the one to request dismissal. If both agree, the process is very simple.
Q2. Can I stop the divorce if my spouse filed?
No — only the filing spouse can withdraw the petition. However, you can still express your willingness to reconcile and encourage couples counseling.
Q3. Do I need a lawyer to stop the divorce?
Not usually. The clerk’s office can provide the necessary forms. But if you’re uncertain, consult an attorney for your state’s specific rules.
Q4. Is it too late to reconcile after filing for divorce?
Not at all. Many couples come back from the brink — even after one has filed. It’s what happens next that determines the outcome.
Q5. What if we stop the divorce and things don’t work out?
You can always refile later, but this time use the opportunity to try marriage counseling or an intensive first.
Next Steps
If you’ve stopped the divorce and want to make sure it never gets that far again:
- Try a Marriage Breakthrough Session
- Explore our 5-Step Marriage Restoration Plan
- Attend a Private Marriage Intensive Retreat to rebuild connection fast
About the Author
Written by Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, MS, LCPC, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and Advanced Imago Relationship Therapist. Founder of The Marriage Restoration Project, helping couples worldwide rebuild connection and stop divorce through Imago therapy and marriage intensives.
Sources
- LegalZoom. How to Withdraw a Divorce Petition.
- Hendrix, H. & Hunt, H. L. (2019). Getting the Love You Want.
- The Marriage Restoration Project. Last Ditch Marriage Counseling to Avoid Divorce.
- Gottman Institute. Repairing Relationships After Betrayal or Filing for Divorce.
