When your relationship is struggling, itโs natural to wonder: How often should we be in couples therapy? Weekly? Monthly? Ongoing? Forever?
At The Marriage Restoration Project, we believe couples therapy shouldn’t last forever. In fact, our mission is to help couples graduateโnot stay stuck in therapy for years.
Our approach, rooted in Imago Relationship Therapy, is designed to create deep, lasting change fast. Thatโs why we offer 2-Day Private Marriage Retreats that jumpstart connection and understanding, followed by structured follow-up sessions that help solidify new relational habits.
Letโs explore what couples therapy can look likeโand how often we believe couples truly need it.
TL;DR: You shouldnโt need couples therapy forever. Our Imago-based approach and 2-day marriage intensives help couples make fast, lasting change. Once you learn how to respond rather than reactโand develop empathy through understanding your partnerโs childhood woundsโyou can graduate from therapy with real tools for life.
The Traditional Weekly Therapy Model
Most couples start therapy with weekly sessions. This format can be helpful, especially for couples just beginning to explore their dynamics. But one hour a week, in the middle of lifeโs chaos, often isnโt enough to break old patterns and build something new.
You might feel better for a day or two after your sessionโonly to fall back into the same loop by the weekend.
This is why many couples feel like theyโre going in circles, attending therapy for years without real resolution.
The Imago Approach: Going Deeper, Faster
Imago Relationship Therapy is based on the idea that the conflict youโre experiencing in your relationship is not random. Itโs deeply connected to your pastโyour childhood wounds and the unconscious patterns youโve carried into adulthood.
In Imago, we help you see your partner not as the enemy, but as the wounded child who developed adaptive behaviors to survive. When you begin to understand your partner in this way, empathy becomes your default, and conflict becomes an opportunity for connection.
This kind of healing doesn’t have to take years. But it does require focused time, safety, and the right tools.
Why We Recommend 2-Day Marriage Intensives First
Weโve found that compressed, dedicated time togetherโaway from distractionsโis the fastest way to make real progress. Thatโs why we start couples with a 2-day private marriage retreat.
Over the course of two immersive days, we walk couples through:
- Intentional Dialogue: A structured way of speaking and listening that creates safety and connection.
- Understanding Root Wounds: How your childhood experiences shape your reactions in marriage.
- Building New Habits: Learning to respond instead of react, and accessing compassion naturally.
Couples leave these two days with skills that often take months (or years) to build in traditional therapy.
What Happens After the Intensive?
After the retreat, we offer structured follow-up sessions to reinforce what was learned. These sessions are importantโnot because couples are dependent on us, but because change takes reinforcement.
Our goal is to help you integrate these new ways of communicating into your daily life, until they become second nature.
Itโs like learning a new language. At first, it feels foreign. But with practice, it becomes how you speak.
When Should a Couple “Graduate” from Couples Therapy?
We believe the best kind of therapy is the kind you eventually no longer need.
You know youโre ready to graduate when:
- You can have difficult conversations without escalating.
- You feel curious instead of critical when your partner brings something up.
- You know how to reconnect quickly when things feel off.
- You feel safe being vulnerable again.
Couples who go through our process often say, โWe finally know how to talk to each other.โ
Thatโs the goal.
So, How Often Should You Go to Couples Therapy?
Hereโs our recommendation:
- Start with a 2-day intensive to get momentum and real breakthroughs.
- Attend follow-up sessions every 1โ2 weeks for 2โ3 months to reinforce and apply the skills in real time.
- Transition to check-ins or end therapy entirely once youโve internalized the tools and can handle hard conversations with empathy and connection.
Final Thoughts about How Often a Couple Should Go to Couples Therapy
Couples therapy should be a toolโnot a crutch.
If youโve been in therapy for years and still feel stuck, it might be time to try a new approach. Our Imago-based marriage retreats are designed to help you break out of conflict cycles and build a relationship that feels safe, connected, and healing.
You donโt need to be โin therapyโ forever. You just need the right kind of therapyโand the right container to learn and grow.
So if you’re wondering how often should a couple go to couples therapy, consider this: with the right container and tools, you might not need therapy nearly as long as you think.