If you’re wondering when it’s time to think about going to marriage counseling, know that here are signs that a couple would benefit from marriage counseling and some of those signs may seem obvious to one and not appear obvious to another!
Signs that marriage counseling can be beneficial for you
- The littlest conversations turn into a fight
- You can’t agree on things
- You feel better supported by your own family or friends and would rather talk with them
- You’re tempted to go look up old flames on Facebook
- You can’t stand being in your partner’s presence
- What you used to think was cute is now not so much
- You push off intimacy or date night
- You’d rather go out with friends most often
- You just don’t feel as connected as you once did
- You’d love to spend time together with your spouse but lately you’re not sure if he/she wants to spend time with you
- You want to talk but your partner doesn’t seem available ever
- You’d like to feel connected but lately you feel disconnected
- There are old things that happened in your relationship that you want clarity on but you’re afraid to bring them up
- You’d like to explore some personal growth for your own healing and you want your partner to join you
One doesn’t have to be in crisis to go to marriage counseling, though that’s when most couples turn towards looking for a couples counselor.
In fact, it’s best to go even just to make your relationship stronger so that down the road, you have the tools to deal with whatever comes up and it won’t threaten your couplehood because you invested the time to stay connected.
But if indeed it feels late for you and beyond the point of making a good marriage great, then now is the time to start.
You’ll want to first research the best marriage counselor for you and we highly suggest you look beyond who is closest to your zipcode and takes insurance.
The quality of couples counseling really differs. Most therapist training programs do not require any skilled couples work experience or education to be able to call oneself a “couples therapist”. Search for a skilled couples therapist with extensive training working with couples. Otherwise, it’s akin to going to a pediatrician for brain surgery 🙂
When you do find someone- it’s okay to interview them and ask pretty specific questions about how long they’ve been in practice, if most of their couples end up staying together, if they’re marriage friendly, do they see the couple apart or together?
In Imago therapy, we believe the couple is the expert on their own relationship. You can read more about the differences between Imago therapy and some of the other popular methods of marriage counseling here.
At the end of the day, if you and your spouse feel like going to marriage counseling feels like an opportunity to connect, hearing about each other’s deep desires, being able to feel vulnerable and safe with your partner, feeling relaxed with each other, then you’ve got the right idea 🙂
We’d be happy to talk with you about what’s going on for you in your relationship and to help you determine if marriage counseling seems like it makes sense for you to pursue right now. Schedule a time to speak with us here at this link or by filling out the form below.
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