No matter how long or short couples have been together, every relationship has its ups and downs. From lack of time spent together to issues with children to work getting in the way of reality, there are many hurdles that couples must work together to overcome in order to keep their relationship healthy and thriving. However, one hurdle that is often difficult to overcome and can actually spell the end of what is thought to be a healthy marriage is that of infidelity.
Whether emotional, physical, or both, infidelity is one issue that can cause high levels of stress, anxiety, and despair among any couple. This can be true even if the partner hasn’t actually performed the act of cheating, such as when they are caught on a dating app or being a little too flirty with a coworker. And while cheating is often a deal breaker that can end a relationship and marriage, the truth of the matter is that how any couple reacts after infidelity is truly unique to them and fully their choice.
If you and your partner are unfortunately coping with the heartbreak and uncertainty that comes with cheating and infidelity, there are steps that you can take to help heal and rebuild your relationship. From actively deciding to stay together to reestablishing your commitment to one another to seeking out counseling from a licensed professional, there are a few methods for rebuilding trust and renewing any relationship suffering from infidelity. Keep reading to discover some of our most recommended steps to take immediately in order to rescue your relationship.
Make the Active Choice to Stay Together
Before any couple who has experienced infidelity begins the process of recovery and healing, they must first make the choice to stay together. This decision should not come lightly and will often come with the stipulation that the cheating partner will never stray again. This will involve an admission of guilt and acceptance of consequences from the cheating partner. In other words, if you are the partner that cheated and you want to stay together, you need to fully admit to your indiscretions, express regret for your actions, and then resolve to never do it again.
Once actions and guilt have been acknowledged, the other partner in the relationship can then decide how they want to move forward. This decision is entirely their own to make and can take some time. The partner who was unfaithful should make sure to give them the time and space that they need to make this decision if they truly want to stay in the relationship.
Make a Commitment to Real Change in Your Relationship
Once both partners make the decision to stay together rather than separate, the next step is a commitment towards change. This involves the spouse who underwent the affair to make the active decision to repair any issues that the relationship may have been facing before. Whether it’s lack of time spent together or an issue with intimacy that ‘drove’ them to cheat, now is the time to take the step towards recommitting their actions and attention to their partner.
This process, again, will take time as the affected partner works through a flurry of emotions in response to the affair. They may be angry, despondent, or depressed at varying times – it’s important that they’re given the space that they need and reassurance from their partner that they will not cheat again. This reassurance can involve steps such as handing over passwords to your phone, email, and calendars for full transparency with your spouse.
Make a Choice to Seek Out Professional Help
When it comes to infidelity, there are some relationships that truly struggle in the healing process. One step towards rebuilding trust and rekindling a broken relationship that offers higher levels of success and satisfaction is seeking out professional help from a licensed marriage counselor. A couples therapist or counselor is an excellent resource for the next steps in healing a relationship, whether it’s through a weekend marriage intensive retreat or through weekly counseling sessions together. They’ll be able to offer guidance and a unique perspective driven by years of experience and results with other couples who have been in the same situation.
For couples who are unsure of whether they want to introduce a counselor into their relationship, another step is to seek out professional assistance via online self-guided workshops or worksheets. These tools, such as our Affair Recovery Therapy Worksheet, can offer discrete and personalized guidance that couples can use privately to work through marital issues and overcome infidelity together.
Overcoming Infidelity: A Path to Restoring Trust
No matter where you are in any relationship, infidelity can be a heartbreaking and distressing issue to overcome. Regardless of whether it is physical or emotional, in-person or online, an affair can tear down the foundations that any couple has worked to build throughout their time together in an instant. For couples who decide to stay together following an affair, there are certain first steps that they can take to help rebuild trust and reestablish their relationship, from making the choice to stay together to committing to changing in their relationship to seeking out professional help from a licensed marriage therapist. Through these steps, couples can set themselves up for success in rebuilding the trust lost and repairing the emotional damage that comes with any infidelity.
If you have experienced infidelity in your relationship and are interested in guidance on how to overcome it with your partner, we’re happy to be a resource and a source of support. Please reach out to us to speak to one of our licensed marriage counselors, and we’ll be happy to help guide you along your journey towards rebuilding your relationship.
